My Favorite Son

I spent some time this weekend with my little Leah. Marque and Sarah went up to the cabin with some friends. When Leah fell asleep on the family room floor just before they got home I took the opportunity to catch up on Facebook. I closed the site down but later that evening a post appeared on my site declaring Marque to be my favorite son. I can't imagine how that happened, but the fact is, it's the truth. I thought I need to declare it to the world, and here are just some of the reasons. Of course I love Marque the most. He was my first born. The excitement and miracle of it all. We struggled as parents learning everything anew. But, Marque was born older and wiser than everyone in the family. Even his Dad and I, maybe even especially his Dad and I. He has always advised us. When he was 4 years old and I smacked him for hitting his brother he asked me "Howcum you hit me if you tell me not to hit?" When he was 8 we took him to buy a new bed. We were excited to get him a Captain's Bed because it had storage underneath and he was always so neat. The salesman was aghast when ready to make the sale Markie told us "I don't know why you need to buy me a new bed, my old one is just fine."

Wise beyond his years, and feeling the responsibility of the oldest child Marque has always taken care of his family. Every one of us feel his love and concern for us. We all know he is our "go to" guy when things need to be accomplished, or advise is needed.

He is so much like my father. I know my dad's spirit lives on through Marque. He is charismatic, affable, has great character traits of loyalty, integrity, and kindness. He brought himself to success without a formal education. He sets goals and masters them. Another thing that reminds me of my dad is that he wears cologne well.

Marque honors his family. What a husband and father. It is apparent to everyone that Marque feels blessed to have Sarah as his wife and Leah as his daughter. He respects his mom and dad even though we might have disappointed him along the way. He never focuses on failures, but on our successes in life and in the family. He extends that to his brothers, their wives and to his nieces. They all know they are important to Marque and they are willing to follow any advice or counsel he gives.

The extended family is massively important to him. He keeps in contact with Grandma and Herb appreciating their energy and example. Never misses a family reunion. He doesn't want to wait until he's beyond the veil to know his cousins and their families.

He touches others. It is obvious that he is not only respected but loved by those who work under him in his employment and in other capacities. He loves his neighbors and they love and admire him. I'm always proud to say I'm his mum.

There is not a week that goes by that he isn't checking on me to see if there is anything I need. What a nice safety net to have. I never expected to need that safety net, but I'm oh so glad it was there. Yep Marque is my favorite. Or is it Jim? Marque and Scott have always claimed to be the favorite, Jim always claimed they were too. He teased(?) me about that for almost his whole life. But Jim is my favorite and here are the reasons: Jim was my middle child. He came 19 months later...we were so wise by the time he came along that it was a breeze. Not really. When he was a baby he was ill. He didn't grow very much. He had lots of tests, the Dr's. were concerned and then finally when they had no answer they became unconcerned and tried to make me feel that way too. Finally we changed Dr's and he was diagnosed. Poor little guy. But he was a fighter. I'm glad he was because it served him well in his life.

Jim makes me laugh. He is a comedian. He has the timing and the jokes. He is quick witted. He makes me laugh at myself. It is really fun to see things through Jimmy's eyes. He is a bit of a pessimist too. He told me that the other day as if I didn't already know. But, even though I'm an optimist and don't know how he managed to get by that Pollyanna attitude of mine, I do see that he has to be stronger to get over that natural tendency in himself. So he fights it.

He makes goals and conquers them. He is a success too, built on a GED from high school and no college education. Self made man. He manages people who love him and his management style. He governs from within the circle of his employees not above them. They know they can joke with him and he with them. He uses this humor with his kids as well. They know they can joke with Dad, but he makes it very easy to see when he means business and that joking is not appropriate. He is so serious about his role as husband and father. He is a romantic guy (I think he gets that from his grandfather) especially on their anniversary. His goal is to make Samantha feel like a queen on their special day. His girls are definitely princesses although they are frequently given healthy doses of sarcasm for a reality check.

He has his serious side for sure. Jim isn't too proud to say that he is a sensitive man. He is an armchair psychologist, especially helping those who struggle in the same ways he did, or helping their parents. He is definitely paying it forward all the time.

Jim calls me everyday. Sometimes we get personal and talk about our own needs. I've used Jim's armchair psychology as well. And I've learned so much from him. But, usually we laugh because our lengthy conversations have a tendency to wander and it always amazes us how varied our topics are. It can start with politics, go to theology, family, then back to a spiritual vein, then on to psychology and back again. Never a dull moment.

Recently when I left he hugged me tight and said "You just can't leave me can you?" He was teasing, but his hold on me and mine on him told us both that he was my favorite. No really it's Scott. He came a four and half years after Jim. I wasn't supposed to be able to have any more children so he is our miracle. Scott is the baby, always will be. He has been told he better plan on that for his whole life. One of the things I love most about Scott is that he accepts that.

When he got two lifesaving awards through his job as a policeman I was there. As he took the stage I shouted "That's my boy!" Everyone in the room was shocked. Except Scott. I think he almost expected it. I felt bad afterward that I might have caused him embarrassment but he just shrugged it off with a smile saying that he just told people "Now you know why I'm the way I am is because of my mom." That's my boy.

Scott was never one of those kids who expected me to drop him off a block or two from school. He was never ashamed to kiss his mom goodbye right in front of school. He always admitted to being a Mama's boy, even if he didn't have any of the signs or characteristics that come with that title...except with his mom.

I do believe Scott and I had a soul to soul connection. Sometimes it went beyond parent-child. He seemed to know me better than anyone else. I remember one time Bud came home from a meeting where they described people by colors. He told me that he and everyone who knew me decided I was a red. Red is a good thing, no doubt, but to me it didn't describe me at all. Powerful, in charge, leader, go-getter etc. I was really hurt that no one really knew me, particularly my husband. When I asked Scott what color he thought described me, he said I was blue with a little yellow. Blue is basically loyal, true, and yellow is fun. Exactly the way I would describe myself. It meant alot to me.

I so appreciated that Scott was not embarrassed about his mom, but even seemed to be proud of me. He has told me several incidents that he passed on his "mom's wise advise" or cliche's to someone who was in trouble. He reminds me of positive things I have done in my life that I would have forgotten otherwise.

Scott is honest to the highest degree. I hope he always will stay that way. It is really a great trait for a police officer to have. He is a straight shooter, but he always looks at people with optimism of who they could be, and he tries to guide them in that direction.

Family is vital to him, not just important. He waited to find a bride that felt exactly the same way. He was never going to throw his family under the bus for love or money. He and Cynthia will carry their love and respect for family on to their own family. They even bought a house that they could raise a large family in without moving to give them stability It is easy to see why Scott is my favorite!

To summarize: Marque is my favorite because he helps me find humility and understand the power of success is the capability to make the lives of others better. Jim is my favorite because he helps me find humor in life and he is sensitive to others lives because he overcame his own challenges. Scott is my favorite because he not only accepts but loves me as I am, and loves each person in the world because of who they are. I must be God's favorite because he gave me these three incredible sons. Thank you Heavenly Father with all my heart.

"Special Moments"

I was 18 when Bud and I got married. We ended up in Vegas after a long battle deciding whether to wait to get sealed in the temple (Bud had just joined the church), or have a church wedding, I went to Colorado and South Dakota for the summer. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", and we decided we wanted to be together sooner rather than later. Of course when you are 18 you don't realize what a baby you really are, so sooner didn't seem so crazy then.

Always one to focus on having a marriage, family, and the "happily ever after", I really never had any other goals even though my grades and intelligence probably would have allowed for a different walk in life. Back then it didn't even occur to me that I could have both. I wanted a baby right away. Every little one I saw I would turn to Bud, with my little puppy eyes and say,
"I want one", like a baby was something in a store window you could just order from Santa Claus. Bud, believe it or not, was more practical. He was 24 so I guess he knew how young I was and how long we had to have and raise children. Also, he wanted to have a house first. So we worked toward that goal. In January, 1968 we got our first home. I was barely 20.

That goal accomplished I was immediately ramping up the conversation about that baby I wanted. We had been married a year and 1/2 and we had enjoyed the time together. We were able to be spontaneous and loved time at the beach, battles of the bands, movies, camping. We really "dated". I thought a baby would only add to that happiness. Finally about a year later Bud agreed that we could stop trying not to, and let nature take it's course. We were so excited when we finally knew that baby was on it's way.

This was pre "natural birth", pre "pampers", pre knowing what the sex was until the baby was born. We honestly were shocked that our first was a boy. We were sure that we would only have girls because of the high count of females on both sides of the family. But we had that little boy, and then began the adventure of being a parent.

Marque was the first so all the newness was there, the excitement, the fear, the wonderment of parenting this little life. I've always said he pretty much raised himself, not because we weren't there every step of the way, but because he is a wise spirit so we could just guide him without too much effort.

When he was two I wrote a little poem after I realized that I wanted to try to catch this little guy's antics on paper. Hard to do, but when I read it again I remember those special moments so well of my little two year old. This was the first poem I ever wrote, ever.... I think it might be special to Marque because it was written when he was exactly the same age as Leah is now.

Special Moments

Cars and trucks zoom, Jack-in-the-box pops,
Everything is going busily,
Then from across the room,
My two year old shouts, "I yuv you Mommy."

His head bowed, eyes peering up,
Knowing he's been very naughty,
With inborn psychology,
He looks at me, and says, "I yuv you Mommy."

Crawling on my lap, arms clasping my neck,
As he gives me a hug every so tightly,
This is the best time of all,
When he whispers, "I yuv you Mommy."

I found some pictures I was going to scan of Marque at two, but my scanner/computer aren't talking so I will have to add them later.

Marque, Mommy yuvs you!

Hurrah, hurrah for the 4th of July!

I was awakened at 2:15 a.m. by the realization that it is the 4th of July. I lay there and try to go back to sleep. Thinking of my gratitude, concern, and prayers for this great nation I can't drift off again. I realize I HAVE to get up, write about my feelings before I will find sleep again. First I pulled up Marque's facebook page, and then his blog. http://www.marqueandsarah.blogspot.com/. These led me to a speech George Washington gave as he left the office as the first President and Commander in Chief, which led me to a speech by Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. We are blessed people to live in this land, and gratefully my kids count that as one of their greatest blessings too.

Marque loves this country and all that it stands for as much as I do. I love that he is so able to express it. I love the fact that I can be taught by him now about how to be a patriot. Marque loves the history of America. He loves hearing and reading about the nation growing from it's infancy. His home library is filled with books on the subject of wars, heroes of wars, patriots from the earliest days of America's occupancy, down through the ages. He recognizes we are slipping from the, God given, principles set as foundation of this government. He avidly watches the American History channel, not casually, but with intent. Jimmy too is a patriot. He loves politics. He understands exactly why our government was set up with a division of labor. Hailey and Mady were taught about the powers of the Executive, Judicial, and Legislative branches of our government. He too worries about the direction of our country, how misled people are in how they interpret our laws and our constitution. He and Scott also watch the History Channel more than any other TV. Scott stands for his values every day as a police officer. I know he passes them on to people he comes in contact with, whether they be fellow officer, traffic violator, youth, or hardened criminal. I know all my kids will teach their children how to stand when the National Anthem is sung, or when a flag passes by. They will all post a flag in the front of their house so they display their honor for it's standard. I'm grateful that they embraced and personalize their history, their pledge, and are not sloppy in their gratitude for all it's tenets.
It is a code of belief that has been passed to them through my parents, and their parents. My Grandpa Bliss fought in France in World War I. He was 19 and came home with permanent damage to his lungs from a mustard gas bomb while he was in the trenches. Grandma Bliss is the most recent pilgrim to our country in our immediate family. She came from Scotland when she was 18. She embraced the American dream and wanted nothing more than to be considered American. Others kept their Scottish brogue, but Grandma worked hard to remove any doubt in her language that she was anything but American. My Grandfather Johnson lived his patriotism working farms in South Dakota. He rarely left his ranch to see this beautiful c0untry, but I remember his glassy eyes as he stood at Mt. Rushmore and proclaimed his love for the leaders displayed in granite there. We would go to see them at 4th of July frequently. On one particular occasion when we arrived Grandma Johnson came flying out the farmhouse door saying "hoowah, hoowah for the 4th of July!" That's how my mom and I greeted each other yesterday when we talked on the phone. Our roots of patriotism grow deep. I wrote last year in my blog about my family tradition on the 4th and other patriotic holidays of posting our flag. It was an embarrassment to live through, but I'm grateful for system of belief my parents imposed on me, that I eventually embraced wholeheartedly and (apparently successfully) passed on to my children.
I have a very difficult time sitting while the National Anthem and other patriotic songs are sung in church without standing. For a time I was chorister in Relief Society and would have all the sisters (who could do so) stand and sing each song. I have even gone so far as to ask the Bishop if we could please stand when singing. Today is actually the 4th, so I am already thinking about the discomfort of sitting through a patriotic song, or standing anyway, even if by myself. I love Lee Greenwood's song God Bless the USA, especially where he says,

"And I gladly stand up,next to you and defend her still today.‘

Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,God bless the USA"!

God bless the USA!

Proud Mom/Gramma!

Our little Leah Caitlyn Bliss Trosper is truly a blessing and a delight to our whole family. When this angel was adopted by Marque and Sarah there was no doubt God was involved. We all knew we could love a child that was not genetically connected to us, but I am absolutely amazed just how much she has touched our hearts.

I get all gooshy and my heart melts when I see pictures of Leah over the internet. One step better is a video so I can hear her chattering along with the pictures. Then to hold her, hug her, feel her heart beat next to mine is just addicting. I want more, more, more.

Marque and Sarah appreciate the birth mom, Caitlyn, so much. Above the rocking chair in Leah's room is a framed piece that has the following words on it. "When I'm worried, and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep"
1. Caitlyn
2. Caitlyn
3. Caitlyn
4. Caitlyn

Caitlyn and her family were also adopted by Marque and Sarah. They invite them to be a part of Leah's life. Not too much that it would ever be confusing, but enough that Caitlyn continues to know how grateful they are. And that Leah will some day know that too. They call her their angel. Caitlyn made some mistakes but she didn't compound them by keeping a child she felt she was not ready to raise. She loved her baby enough to give her a better chance. Leah is so blessed that Caitlyn chose Marque and Sarah as her parents with Heavenly Fathers guidance.

Marque and Sarah don't just thank Caitlyn and leave it at that. They are forming a foundation to put their hearts and money where there mouth is. It will offer a scholarship to young mothers who choose adoption rather than abortion or raising the baby as a single teenage parent. This will help them get back to their lives and even take a step forward. The first recipient will be Caitlyn appropriately. The foundation also will help parents seeking adoption as a way to build their family.

It's a beautiful thing and this mom and gramma is so very proud. So very in love and so very proud.

Here is a connection to Marque's blog to read more http://www.marqueandsarah.blogspot.com/.

....hmmm what shall I write about?

I decided that I needed to write in my blog more often. Not because I have readers, because I don't. But because I have a real desire to write articles, a book, or something, and I need practice.

People have always told me that I have talent in expressing my thoughts. I didn't agree. My writing to me seems very generic. I believe Marque has great talent in putting his thoughts and opinions to word. He has a strong vocabulary that makes things he writes about come alive. Jimmy is really capable of emoting in his writing. Strong sentiments and emotions make his essays and poems passionate. Scott doesn't enjoy writing as much as Jim and Marque, but I know when he was getting his degree he had to do alot of writing. He got all A's so it must have been good. So I would say they have a gift for writing.

My Dad was a good writer too. You could even see his talent when he would sign a birthday card. My mom would always buy the present, get the card, but leave the sentiment to Dad. He wrote me two letters in my life that I cherish. One was when I graduated from High School and the other was the night before I got married. I love taking them out and re-reading them. Holding them in my hands I look at the penmanship...unique, strong, and artistic. Imagining his hand, which I still can picture perfectly, holding the pen doing flourishes just above the paper before setting it down to begin. I can see the little half smile appear as he gets an idea about what to pen. In the letter at my graduation he waxed nostalgic remembering everything that was important all through my life. He recalled friends, boyfriends, events, and tragedies peppering from childhood through this adolescent rite of passage. I was amazed what a full life I had lead, and that it was important to my Dad too. In the letter the night before my wedding when I was 18 years old he wrote a letter expressing love from my Mom and he. I'm absolutely sure he thought I was making a huge mistake taking such a big step at such a young age and he reminded me to "be very sure. When you step up to that altar if you have any doubts..... All your Mom and I want is your happiness." It was replete with emotion, angst, and love. Absolutely beautiful. My mom says I have inherited his gift. I feel my sons have inherited their grandfathers gift as well.

Writing is very important. Journaling can be history, thoughts, emotions, goals, failures, encouraging and discouraging times to be passed on....so can books. The readers are just more numerous and not so prejudiced. They are not just family members but others who might benefit from what is written.

Do I have anything of value to pass on to the general public? Can I express myself well enough to make it interesting, entertaining, and/or beneficial. I have conceded that when I write down what I am feeling at a given time, I can re-read it much later and bring back to mind exactly what the experience was all about. But, I still am not convinced my talent goes any further than that. While I appreciate those friends and family that compliment and encourage me, I do know they are coming from a point of view that isn't exactly objective.

So I just need to write, develop any skills I have, try to find subjects to contemplate on paper, and see how I fair over time. If anyone happens to read this, please send me a subject to write about. I love researching things too. So if it requires research that's okay. Or something that I can philosophize about....I love that too.

I have written a child's book called "An Elf's Christmas Story" that I just need to get published, and don't know how to go about it. My sister, Lynette and I are writing a book about two sisters who are opposite in every way and see their world with a very different perspective. They love each other and being sisters overcomes all differences. It is based on our own childhood experiences. Another book in my head is kind of a self help book called "On a Positive Note..." It will have different chapters on dealing with, and overcoming adversity. Also, I am intending to write a book for the church audience about my life and divorce experience. I think it would be helpful to a specific group of people who may go through similar experiences.

So.....first step.....write. But sometimes to write I need to decide....what shall I write about?

I'm here, finally!

I made it to American Fork, UT on Saturday evening....late evening after running out of gas and waiting for over an hour for rescue. So silly! I filled up in Hesperia and figured that would take me to St. George. In St. George I got out and walked around Cracker Barrel for just a short time. I had a customer who just lost a son because of a blood clot from not walking around on a long airplane flight. So, I was determined to move around a bit. Then I got a fish taco at a Del Taco since I hadn't eaten anything....then I was on my way again. I never gave a thought to gas while I was singing along to my blasting music....apparently so loud I didn't hear the"ding, ding, ding" of my "low fuel" warning. There I was just a few miles outside Beaver just after dark when I stopped dead. I had a few laughs at my own expense, played a few hands of free cell solitaire on my computer, and just enjoyed the stars while I waited. Don't mean to imply I wasn't a wee bit impatient, but that was just because I was worried little Leah would be down for the night before I got to hold her.

But she was already for Gramma to hold her when I arrived. And what a sweetie she is. I am so grateful for all the pictures, but it just doesn't show how tiny and delicate she is. It would be impossible not to fall in love with her. Sunday, I didn't make it to church and Marque and Sarah let me hold this sweet one to my hearts content. They also let me change her diapers and feed her as well. This bonding time with my new little princess is just what I was waiting for. She started getting a little stuffy nose (not from me I promise!) and so she was a little fussy. What is the matter with me cuz I even love to see this little one cry...she is precious! I got to sleep by her and take care of her needs Sunday night. This made me happy, and Marque and Sarah thought it was like Christmas coming early to be able to sleep through the night. She was way good though, she only woke once before morning light and was very patient with her Gramma while I changed her, warmed her bottle, fed, and burped her.

Monday I mostly sat around holding her all day. She is so entertaining, Her arms just go everywhere and she loves her hands being on, or around her face. Her fingers are so long, and so are her little toesies. These just aren't typical to the Trosper children....oh, and she has a bridge on her nose. Baby Trosper noses just kind of start in the middle of the face without a bridge, so she is going to have a nice nose just like Sarah's.......oh, not that my kids noses aren't absolutely perfect, because they are!

They have a picture of Caitlin, the birth mom, as a baby and Leah really does look like her, but it really is amazing how much she looks like Sarah's baby pictures. You really do get the feeling that Leah just took the long way around to just the right home. Of course there are so many other reasons to feel that is true. It is absolutely wonderful being in this home and feeling the love here.....Marque and Sarah for each other......and each of them for this baby. And for me too. I feel very important in the whole scheme of things.

Christine, Sarah's Mom, and Dave came over for dinner last night. They are such great people to share a grandbaby with, I just love them and I am so glad they are closeby to lavish love on our kids and our granddaughter

I wish I knew how to post pictures but if you go to Marque and Sarah's blog there is no shortage of pics. www.marqueandsarah.blogspot.com