Traditions!

In the Trosper home "tradition" is a big deal. Most of our traditions seem to surround the holidays, but of course there are others as well.

Some things are well thought out and meant to become traditions. For instance: when our kids were young we decided that each year we would get them a Christmas ornament. Even at their birth I could imagine some day they would take all their ornaments with them and have a sentimental start to their own decorations. That was a planned tradition. The unplanned part of that tradition came when Jim seemed to get soldiers or nutcrackers as his ornament a couple years and he decided that is what he wanted each year. Scott got rocking horses. When he was around 18 I asked him if he wanted to change from rocking horses to something else and he said "No, tradition is tradition." Marque never chose or got the same thing every Christmas. His ornament seemed to be something that was simultaneous to his life. An ornament playing soccer when he was in soccer. A missionary with an Elders badge and a suitcase when he went on his mission, etc.

I think sometimes the boys want to hold to the old traditions even harder than I do. Everyone blends two families traditions when they get married...together they decide which stays and which goes. Our family has breakfast casserole after opening presents on Christmas morning and Sarah's family had cinnamon rolls and juice. So they have both at their house. Scott and Cynthia decided to opt for the beautifully decorated tree rather than the "rocking horse" tree. But they put up the manger set I got them and have a well decorated and lighted house like both of their families traditionally had. Jim and Sam have their tree decorated with nutcrackers (Jim), angels (Sam), teddy bears (Hailey), and snowmen (Madyson). Recently when I took a box of decorations out and told the kids they could each take several items from the box I was impressed that they didn't go for the new fancy items, but for the ragged and worn ones tied with traditions that they hold with so much value.

Jim is the guard of the Trosper traditions so it is lucky that he is married to Samantha who is willing to concede and even embrace most of them.

It is very important to me that we have tradition. It makes everything more memorable if it is looked forward to on each occasion. That is so in the world too. Can you imagine if at the end of the wedding no one said "You may kiss the bride". Imagine after their vows the wedded couple just headed back down the aisle without the kiss to seal the deal? We would all feel a little frustrated, unfinished. Tradition gives us something to hang onto, wait for.

But even I am not as serious about keeping the tradition as Jimmy is. Jim is the "Keeper of the Trosper traditions. It is lucky he is married to Samantha who has been willing to concede to most of them. Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without letters to Santa, stockings before gifts, unwrapping each gift one at a time so we can ooo and aaah. Easter wouldn't be Easter without dying eggs the night before, Easter Egg hunts over and over, and ham for Easter dinner. Birthdays have to include smushing someone's face in the cake. Thanksgiving wouldn't be the same without letting the dinner get cold while we pass the turkey leg and say what we're thankful for. These are just a few of our traditions at holidays. We have lots of other one's that aren't necessarily for holidays; like, the family game being PIT or Game of 5000, singing my dad's old songs when we travel in the car, games for jobs, or picking up big big gulps especially before road trips (even 15 minute road trips LOL).

Yep Trosper and tradition almost are synonymous. I opted to have prime rib today. What a faux pax. "What?" Jim decried, "We always have ham on Easter." I didn't realize it was a hard and fast tradition....but Jim would. I am really going to enjoy the prime rib this year down in Palm Springs watching conference on tv, but you can be sure I will be checking the tradition guru next time.

I'm grateful that these things are important to my kids. It shows they have happy memories and they want to continue them for their children. I know we (their Dad and I) will never be forgotten as the traditions pass on. Just as my childhood, and my parents will never be forgotten as Bud and I chose to blend some of my traditions with his family traditions when we got married. Then we chose some of our own to add another layer. It's fun to watch the kids add their own traditions to their families too. It's a way of carrying on. Like every culture we really become what our traditions make us.

Thanks kids for embracing what is important to me. Now, more than ever, we need those stable memories to hang onto. I love you all so much!

Labor Day "Neighbor Day"

When I was a young girl we lived at 1569 S. Forest Street in Denver, Colorado. We moved in our brand new home in 1956. It was a cool ranch style home with 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom and an unfinished basement. At that time there were my Mom and Dad, and 3 sisters. Mom was very pregnant and my brother Bill was born shortly afterward. Eventually that house would hold 7 children and my folks and sometimes lots of cousins. It never seemed that crowded and it amazes me how big houses have become, and how it seems that every child has to have their own room ....but that's another story. It's always fun moving into a new housing tract because everyone is new and so the neighbors grow their lives together, and that's the way it was there in Denver. There were no privacy fences in Colorado, we had chain link between our houses, and that was even too confining, so stiles (stairsteps) were built over the fences to enable us to move between neighbors more easily. A tradition was started in that neighborhood that carries forth today, Neighbor Day. Everyone got their chores done quickly and then games were set up in each of the back yards....badmitton, ping pong, volleyball, croquet, swimming pools etc. We could move between the houses having fun with all the neighbors and the day would culminate with a pot luck dinner and one of the homes. What fun we had and what memories we built.

The memories were so strong and so fun that when we moved in our house on Larkspur Lane in 1977 I wanted to make sure to create the same feelings for my family. So on our first Labor Day there on Larkspur Lane we had our "Neighbor Day". We had it out under the street light in our cul de sac. The Pratt's didn't move in until the next month, and so the end of the street was a pile of dirt. There was no park where so many future celebrations would be held. It was a timid little start, but oh how it grew over the years. As each new neighbor moved in they were immediately apprised of the closeness of the neighborhoods and of the Larkspur Lane block parties. We had lots of people move in and out...the Castelaws, Romo's, Ron Smiths, Siaosi's, Fellbaums, Durham's, too many to mention them all....hopefully I will get reminders from my kids and other neighbors, but the core group that eventually moved in and stayed through the raising of our children became known as the "Larkspur Mafia". This group consisted of the Pratt's, Trosper's, Greg Smith's, Rouleau's, Pederson's, Hanson's, Torgerson's, Fellbaum's, and Durham's. As neighbors came and went, joining into and leaving the fun, this group would always be there. We would kind of trade turns being hosts which meant "who would make, print, and deliver" the flier to the entire block, then at around 2:00 in the afternoon we would start peeking out our windows to see if Betty and Marce had started heading down to the end of the cul de sac and that would be our cue to head out for "Neighbor Day".

Usually we would set the barbecues in the street, and the tables up on the grass for the rest of the food...and there was always tons of food. Everyone got creative at Labor Day picnics and brought out their best side dishes and desserts. There were always activities, sometimes a little baseball, croquet, horseshoes, swimming at the pool, balloon tosses, water fights. The best was the year that Marcel Hanson brought out a piece of plastic and we somehow hooked the water up to it and made this awesome "slip and slide" that we all took our turns on. Mostly though, I remember the women sitting in a circle just chatting with each other. It was a last hurrah before the kids were back in school. Sometimes it was burning hot, and sometimes it was cold. Remember the year we all had to put sweaters, blankets, little ski hats on to stay warm? I think that was when Emily Pratt was just a baby. It was freezing that year. So much nostalgia.

My kids did build those special memories with their neighborhood, the Larkspur kids, and all of the shared holidays. We also celebrated Memorial Day block parties, 4th of July shared fireworks, Christmas parties with caroling, summer plays, break dancing shows. It was a bunch of brothers and sisters living together on that block. Sometimes they fought, but they grew up together as one big family. The parents shared memories of raising our kids together. I remember the year and a half that we had 19 brand new drivers on the block......scary! We all watched out for each other and each others kids too. I have heard some great stories from my kids lately that some of the other parents were right there to protect and scold my kids when I wasn't around.

I will never forget the memories of my childhood and as a young parent when we drew together as a community and celebrated patriotism, family, and friends. Marque and Sarah have that kind of relationship with their neighbors in American Fork, Utah. They say their neighborhood parties are like the Larkspur Mafia get-togethers "on steroids". They have taken it to the next level with snow cone machines, bouncers, and elaborate water slides, but they are building memories with their neighbors. Because of that relationship they never want to leave. They want to raise Leah and future children within that safe cocoon. Jim and Sam have built a strong relationship with their neighbors as well. The whole neighborhood can be found quite frequently at Don and Candice's (across the street) swimming, barbecuing, dancing, and playing games together. Cynthia and Scott just bought a HUGE new house to start their life together. They plan to have and raise their family there. Scott said he loved the security of living in the same place for his whole life and wanted to give his children the same experience. I am sure the Larkspur Block parties added to the fun and the security. I hope they will take the time to get to know their neighbors and start the tradition in their new neighborhood. They have a park right across from their house that would be perfect for gathering people together.

Unfortunately things have changed. People have moved, divorced, and passed away. Only the Smiths and the Pratts are there now. Occasionally we will get together and remember the old days when we were young, and our kids were young. The talk between the women went from baby showers, to back to school breakfasts at Denny's, to weddings, grandchildren, body aches and pains, to mourning our loved ones...but who can understand better than those who have lived your life with you. Thanks for the memories Larkspur Mafia! I love you all!!!!!

Being a Mom!

I don't know how many people are aware what a "girlie girl" I am. When I was a child I was actually considered "prissy". Wearing curls in my hair replete with ribbons and bows, and always in dresses I spent my time pretending I was a mommy. I had many babies with names like "Belonk" and "Golanda" who were always dressed to the "nines" especially when they attended tea parties with me. I couldn't wait to be a Mommy for real.

Married at 18 I was anxious to start my family but Marque wasn't born until I was 22. It never really occured to me that I might have a boy because girls outnumbered 4 to 1 in my family and 10 to 1 in Bud's family. I actually asked them to double-check when they announced "You have a boy!" It wasn't that I was disappointed, I wasn't, just surprised! That was about the only surprise I had because I had done my homework on being a mother. Little Raymond Marquist, aka Marc, aka Mark, aka Marque, aka Q was so easy. Maybe it was because he was the first, he was organized and in charge from the get-go. I remember when he was about 18 months old he was so frustrated with the kids I babysat for because they didn't put the toys away in the orderly fashion he required. He would stomp his foot, rearrange them and then scowl at the other little kids for their sloppiness. To this day Marque likes to take care of me rather than the other way around.

Being there was only 20 months between Markie and my second child I was hoping it was a boy. James David was born and I knew they would be so close! They are--now that they are 36 and 38. They couldn't have been more opposite as they were growing up. They didn't fight often because they didn't share any interests, toys, clothes, or music that they would fight over. Jimmy scared us right at first because he didn't grow. Poor little guy went through so many medical tests and lost so much of his growth until they finally figured it all out. He caught up very quickly and thrived. Everyone was in love with him from the moment they saw him. Jimmy didn't waste much time trying to do something, he waited until he could do it well the first time!

Coming from a large family (7 kids) I wanted to have bunches of kids, but my body had other ideas. So I waited for 4 1/2 years before risking another pregnancy and then I had my 3rd son. Maybe God was afraid I would name a daughter "Belonk" or "Golonda"! I think I would have been disappointed if my third and last child was a girl, but maybe I just adjusted to that version of thought because I grew to love my role of mother of sons! Scott was easy! He entertained himself or he was entertained by his older brothers. I remember going to a Tupperware party at the neighbors. Scott was just a year and he sat quietly on a blanket the whole time. When he started to school the teachers always told me that "all the kids love Scotty". He was and still is a good blend of his older brothers and both of them got along so well with their little brother.

So I was the mother of boys and I learned to curtail the flowers and hearts to my doodling rather than my decorating. Soccer became my favorite pasttime over the years. Every year I was room mother for at least one of the kids classes if not all of them, and I put in my time on the PTA as well. Anything having to do with my chosen career of motherhood was right up my alley. I even took appropriate breaks from being a Mom to go out with friends, or my husband because I was told that it was better for my kids to be fresh!

One of the things I also did as a mother is teach my sons that I wanted, adored, expected "mushy" Mothers Day cards. Come on, what little boy is going to know that on their own???? It's only fair that if I put aside my "girlie girl" to be the mother of three active boys, that they put aside their "manly man" for their mommy once a year! They are so good! Scotty even notates on the front of the envelope that he gets extra points because it's pink!

Now I have my girls too! Two beautiful perfect (really they are perfect!) daughters-in-love, and two little granddaughters. I have the best of all worlds. Every year, and this year I received heartfelt messages, and so much love stuffed into cards, notes, gifts, food, and flowers all tell me that Motherhood is the magic I always knew it to be! It is the absolutely best career choice I could have made!

What? Do you think it's because of all the "booty" I haul in at Mothers Day........not bad.....but it's really because of Marque, Jim, Scott, Sarah, Samantha, Hailey and Mady!