I'm here, finally!

I made it to American Fork, UT on Saturday evening....late evening after running out of gas and waiting for over an hour for rescue. So silly! I filled up in Hesperia and figured that would take me to St. George. In St. George I got out and walked around Cracker Barrel for just a short time. I had a customer who just lost a son because of a blood clot from not walking around on a long airplane flight. So, I was determined to move around a bit. Then I got a fish taco at a Del Taco since I hadn't eaten anything....then I was on my way again. I never gave a thought to gas while I was singing along to my blasting music....apparently so loud I didn't hear the"ding, ding, ding" of my "low fuel" warning. There I was just a few miles outside Beaver just after dark when I stopped dead. I had a few laughs at my own expense, played a few hands of free cell solitaire on my computer, and just enjoyed the stars while I waited. Don't mean to imply I wasn't a wee bit impatient, but that was just because I was worried little Leah would be down for the night before I got to hold her.

But she was already for Gramma to hold her when I arrived. And what a sweetie she is. I am so grateful for all the pictures, but it just doesn't show how tiny and delicate she is. It would be impossible not to fall in love with her. Sunday, I didn't make it to church and Marque and Sarah let me hold this sweet one to my hearts content. They also let me change her diapers and feed her as well. This bonding time with my new little princess is just what I was waiting for. She started getting a little stuffy nose (not from me I promise!) and so she was a little fussy. What is the matter with me cuz I even love to see this little one cry...she is precious! I got to sleep by her and take care of her needs Sunday night. This made me happy, and Marque and Sarah thought it was like Christmas coming early to be able to sleep through the night. She was way good though, she only woke once before morning light and was very patient with her Gramma while I changed her, warmed her bottle, fed, and burped her.

Monday I mostly sat around holding her all day. She is so entertaining, Her arms just go everywhere and she loves her hands being on, or around her face. Her fingers are so long, and so are her little toesies. These just aren't typical to the Trosper children....oh, and she has a bridge on her nose. Baby Trosper noses just kind of start in the middle of the face without a bridge, so she is going to have a nice nose just like Sarah's.......oh, not that my kids noses aren't absolutely perfect, because they are!

They have a picture of Caitlin, the birth mom, as a baby and Leah really does look like her, but it really is amazing how much she looks like Sarah's baby pictures. You really do get the feeling that Leah just took the long way around to just the right home. Of course there are so many other reasons to feel that is true. It is absolutely wonderful being in this home and feeling the love here.....Marque and Sarah for each other......and each of them for this baby. And for me too. I feel very important in the whole scheme of things.

Christine, Sarah's Mom, and Dave came over for dinner last night. They are such great people to share a grandbaby with, I just love them and I am so glad they are closeby to lavish love on our kids and our granddaughter

I wish I knew how to post pictures but if you go to Marque and Sarah's blog there is no shortage of pics. www.marqueandsarah.blogspot.com

Store up Nuts

Saturday I took my two beautiful granddaughters to the beach and had an amazing day.

As I was sitting on my towel watching them digging for sand crabs I took the moment to register the joy surging through my soul. I recognized that in spite of recent adversity I was happy! How could I not be? There I was wrapped in the beauty of a perfect day. Ideal temperature, blue sky, fluffy clouds, and the air was motionless. Oh, it was crowded......way crowded, but that added energy and happiness with the buzz of conversation, families celebrating various occasions, barbecues sending out fumes of hamburgers or asada, and the strum of a guitar in the distance. Heavenly! The only thing that made it better was watching those two little girls making friends with every other little one within shouting distance.

Once I was asked what made me the happiest and my reply was quick, "Cheering from the sidelines of a soccer game while my son(s) played." Somehow when I was being a Mom I was meant to be, the grass was greener, sky bluer, and air cleaner. That was the kind of day Saturday was. Just being there watching the girls dipping toes into the water (Mady) and jumping into the surf with a brand new friend (Hailey). Is God in my life? Most certainly! Is He aware of me, little ole me? Darn right! Am I aware of Him? How could I not be?! Joy, pure joy!

Sure I feel adversity. I feel sadness and loneliness. I may even have a day of occasional depression, but I'm grateful that I bounce. When I hit the ground I know, for certain, that what goes down must come up. Luckily I bounce back up pretty quickly. I guess it's just my nature to some degree, but also I think there are a few things that I do to help find the joy in life.

Store up nuts for the future: We never know when tragedy of any sort will strike. It's part of life. God let's us work through these problems and it strengthens us. Just as we should put money, food and other essentials aside for physical tragedies or those caused by nature, we should store "nuts" that will take us through personal or emotional challenges.

Some of my "nuts" include:
1) Keeping in touch with friends. I am blessed with an abundance of friends, many I have known for years. Though I am usually not the person to call and "cry" it out, it is nice to have someone to listen when that need arises. And the shoulder to lean on is comfy too. Your advise, wisdom, and wit pulled me through many tough moments, days, weeks, and months. You helped me make sense when there was no sense. More than that it is great to have someone to have fun with when life just isn't fun.

2) Gathering quotes, cliches, and scriptures. I have always been a oollector of people's words to describe things I felt, and those I had no idea I would feel. Cliches are true, that's how they became cliches. Some of my favorite quotations deal with attitude, perspective, service, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance, joy. My favorite quotation is "Attitude is a little thing that makes a BIG difference." Sometimes a little attitude adjustment, or a new perspective on a problem makes a huge difference. If I gather these thoughts in good times, they will sometimes just appear when I most need them, I can always find something get me through a blue day. You will almost always find some quote or scripture attached to my mirror. To help me survive my current challenge I have actually adhered permanently to my wall the following "Cherish yesterday, Live today, Dream tomorrow!" If I don't have anything in my brain file to solve the days crisis, you will find me at Hallmark looking through the Cope and Encouragement section. Yes, I do buy cards for myself with just the perfect message. I take it home and tape it to the mirror. So if you ever get a card from me that has little tape marks on it you will know that the thought was a well used, well loved one that was passed on to encourage you through your tough time.

3) Being aware daily of my blessings. When difficulties arise if you are in the habit of counting your blessings they will pop up in your head just when you are ready to submerge yourself in the "Poor me's". If I start my prayers thanking the Lord for the blessings already received, I seem to get the answers far more quickly when I move into the "Lord, please help me" stage of my prayers.

4) Music. Michael Ballam said we all need a first aid kit of music to heal our emotional hurts. So true! There are favorites that I have stored that seem to "kiss" my hurt away just when I think I can't stand the pain any longer. Or, some that will lift my spirit even higher when I'm just beginning to soar again. The other day when I was traveling home from Utah I had the craving for an old friend. I stopped at a Walmart in Cedar City and searched for a John Denver CD. It had to include a few of my favorites but most particularly one called "Wild Montana Sky". I got to the car and ripped the saran wrap with my teeth.....like an addict that needed my fix! I finally popped it in and punched up #20. I played it over and over and sang so loud the coyotes probably heard me as I drove through the Nevada desert. Music heals, music gives joy, music touches my soul, music passes on through the generations with memories attached. I remember and sing songs my parents taught me, I taught my children, and now my grandchildren love singing them with me.

Last Saturday when we drove home from the beach and Madyson and Hailey were scrunched into sand filled seats, I tentatively removed "Hair Spray" and popped in the John Denver CD. The girls fell in love with him too. They quickly learned "Wild Montana Sky". "Play it again Gramma!" I did! Again and again. A shared moment, a shared "nut". We all three sang it loud enough to disturb the bunny rabbits in the Sun City desert. Thank you so much Heavenly Father for all my blessings! It was the perfect end of a perfect day!