New and Improved?

Yesterday I got on the scales and was surprised to hit another goal. I've lost 30 pounds now. Yippee! When I moved to Utah one of my goals was to focus on me. Particularly on exercise and eating healthy. One of my intentions was to look at Curves. I didn't know too much about it, but it seemed like a low impact exercise plan from everything I heard. The part-owner/manager of the franchise here in American Fork is delightful. She is single, a decade or so younger than me, and just the cutest personality. I saw her instantly as a friend. It didn't take too long to decide to join. Afterall, it is just a few blocks, energetic ambiance, nice people, and totally judgement free. Curves quickly became my "new community". I didn't immediately become friends with everyone, but I did love seeing friendly faces across the circle as we all worked out to the music. Eventually, I added Zumba and is that fun! Truly, it is still hard to motivate myself to get up and go exercise each day, but they do everything they can to help you overcome your laziness.

I never thought exercise would be fun! It takes 30 minutes to do the regular program and so even a busy (cough-cough) person like me can find time to get it done at least 3 times a week.
Zumba also takes 30 minutes but leaves me more exhausted, more sweaty, and strangely more energized. Laura, the Zumba instructor is just so fun, and can really show us how to move our body. As far as my eating healthy lifestyle it is pretty simple...eat at least 3 x's a day, drink lots more water and lots less coke, eat more fruits and vegetables than anything else, but don't deprive myself.

I've been on a weight loss course all my life. I've tried everything. Weight watchers is the best I think because their plan is one you can live with, and is well balanced. I gained weight though in the 4 or 5 times I tried it previously. Probably because other plans or "fad" diets dropped my caloric intake to very little so I didn't have anywhere to go. I was even on a 500 calorie diet with daily shots at one time in my life and stopped losing after 20 pounds even though I stayed the course for over 6 months. When you actually start eating more than 500 calories a day you actually gain weight.....what? Who would've thought? Duh! I also had a dental devise put on my teeth so I couldn't eat anything solid....it caused me to eventually need crowns on all my teeth but didn't help my weight loss at all. Tried it all.....and got to the point that I could go a day or more without eating at all. Then someone told me I was heavy because I didn't eat. I think it was the people at Six Week Body Makeover who told me that when I went on their "fast start" and gained weight. Crazy!

So, I have spent a year or so trying to get a metabolism back. Even though I hear it is best to eat 5 small meals a day I have found it hard to get 3 in. I used to not eat until 2-4 each day because that is when I finally got hungry. Some wise person told me that my metabolism wasn't even thinking of starting until I ate. Oh, so you mean the reason I get hungrier if I actually eat breakfast is because my metabolism has started? Duh! I convinced myself I didn't like breakfast so I had to re-train my brain that it didn't matter what I ate as long as I ate....gotta get that metabolism busy. I still rarely get very hungry so I almost have to schedule eating like you would schedule medication. I buy good things to eat, various fruits and vegetables, but since I don't get hungry and therefore I don't think of snacking I sometimes waste the food. So the good news for me is the more I eat....of the right things....the more I lose.

My Dr. told me last month that he wanted me to have a gastric-bypass to improve my health. I had already lost about 25 pounds and was looking for a job so this wasn't what I expected to hear. But, he said that almost all my issues would disappear if I went through with it. So I am praying for what the Lord feels is the right path for me. I was leaning toward the surgery when I got on the scale and had the newest weight loss. I don't know yet what the right answer is, but I definitely know I will continue doing more of the same thing I have been doing until I have my answer.

One of the things I think was also important is that I learned to love myself before I started losing weight. I think that is the most valuable advise I could ever give. So maybe some day my pants will fall right off my body, but I will still be the same person that I look at in the mirror. Fat or skinny doesn't matter what the packaging because it still holds all the bad, or good that was always there!

I am Blessed and I am Grateful that I am Blessed!

The other day my friend, Shirley, told me that other people were concerned about me and asking how I was doing?

Shirley has been going through a rough patch herself because of her mother's recent passing. She was my focus when she "willy nilly" let me know that I was the focus of friends concern. My immediate response was "Me? Why would anyone be worried about me." She calmly said "Oh, maybe it could be that you are still going through the aftermath of a divorce. Maybe it's because you just got out of the hospital with heart issues, or maybe it's because your hours at work were almost cut in half." I was taken aback. Surprised really when it was put that way. My reply was "Well no wonder they are worried about me. I would be worried about that person too."

To be honest there are other things to throw in the mix too. Other adversities I am dealing with, but I guess I don't look at them all in a list like that. I just do the best I can to take a look at each issue individually. Then I make a decision about whether there is anything I can do about it, if there isn't then I try to move on. Not that it doesn't take time to move on, but if that's all I can do, that's all I can do. If there is something I can do then I try to make a plan on how to proceed to make a change. Then there are those things that I can't decide if I should just "Let go, and Let God" take care of, or if I should have a more active role in resolving.

I am not a person who is in the habit of saying "poor me" or "Why me God?" I know that I signed on for this earth life experience. I am aware that the purpose is to be faced with challenges, and the result of those challenges is growth. We each have a choice. Sometimes other people's choices affect us. Then we don't have a choice, except in how we choose to respond to where their choice leads or leaves us. That's probably been the toughest thing for me to grasp.

I will admit to being very hurt when my employers chose to cut my hours while leaving my fellow employees untouched. I know they can't say it is because of age, but I wondered if there was some "age discrimination" involved. Even then, was it because I am not functioning as well as I did when I was younger....probably. My little pity party was short lived because I got a very nice sense of 'well being'. The worry and concern over how I would survive just evaporated. Perhaps in part because I went to worse scenario and imagined myself thrust out of my home living on social security (which isn't much). I realized I have 3 sons and 3 beautiful daughters in law who each have an extra room and alot of love for their mom. None of them would let me be homeless. I am too young and too independent to want that, but it is so comforting to relax in the shelter of that love. But, I think mostly the Lord whispered in my ear that things would work out. I have recognized and been a recipient of his care so I knew that I could trust Him. I didn't know how, but it didn't matter.

Shortly after I came to peace about it my bank called saying they would modify my loan. I had been trying to work with them and there wasn't much relief promised. With the new information that my salary was cut they recalculated and offered a deal that I can't possibly refuse. It hasn't totally come through yet, but I trust that I will be able to live in my home for a long time. What a relief, what a blessing.

This morning I was able to cuddle back into my covers which is a nice side blessing of not working every day. But as I was laying there I was feeling at peace. At this moment I feel healthy, financially blessed, and loved by my family, friends, and the Lord. See how lucky I am! I am blessed and I am grateful that I am blessed.

Hopefully I can pass some of this good news on to those I care about so they will feel loved and blessed too.