My Favorite Son

I spent some time this weekend with my little Leah. Marque and Sarah went up to the cabin with some friends. When Leah fell asleep on the family room floor just before they got home I took the opportunity to catch up on Facebook. I closed the site down but later that evening a post appeared on my site declaring Marque to be my favorite son. I can't imagine how that happened, but the fact is, it's the truth. I thought I need to declare it to the world, and here are just some of the reasons. Of course I love Marque the most. He was my first born. The excitement and miracle of it all. We struggled as parents learning everything anew. But, Marque was born older and wiser than everyone in the family. Even his Dad and I, maybe even especially his Dad and I. He has always advised us. When he was 4 years old and I smacked him for hitting his brother he asked me "Howcum you hit me if you tell me not to hit?" When he was 8 we took him to buy a new bed. We were excited to get him a Captain's Bed because it had storage underneath and he was always so neat. The salesman was aghast when ready to make the sale Markie told us "I don't know why you need to buy me a new bed, my old one is just fine."

Wise beyond his years, and feeling the responsibility of the oldest child Marque has always taken care of his family. Every one of us feel his love and concern for us. We all know he is our "go to" guy when things need to be accomplished, or advise is needed.

He is so much like my father. I know my dad's spirit lives on through Marque. He is charismatic, affable, has great character traits of loyalty, integrity, and kindness. He brought himself to success without a formal education. He sets goals and masters them. Another thing that reminds me of my dad is that he wears cologne well.

Marque honors his family. What a husband and father. It is apparent to everyone that Marque feels blessed to have Sarah as his wife and Leah as his daughter. He respects his mom and dad even though we might have disappointed him along the way. He never focuses on failures, but on our successes in life and in the family. He extends that to his brothers, their wives and to his nieces. They all know they are important to Marque and they are willing to follow any advice or counsel he gives.

The extended family is massively important to him. He keeps in contact with Grandma and Herb appreciating their energy and example. Never misses a family reunion. He doesn't want to wait until he's beyond the veil to know his cousins and their families.

He touches others. It is obvious that he is not only respected but loved by those who work under him in his employment and in other capacities. He loves his neighbors and they love and admire him. I'm always proud to say I'm his mum.

There is not a week that goes by that he isn't checking on me to see if there is anything I need. What a nice safety net to have. I never expected to need that safety net, but I'm oh so glad it was there. Yep Marque is my favorite. Or is it Jim? Marque and Scott have always claimed to be the favorite, Jim always claimed they were too. He teased(?) me about that for almost his whole life. But Jim is my favorite and here are the reasons: Jim was my middle child. He came 19 months later...we were so wise by the time he came along that it was a breeze. Not really. When he was a baby he was ill. He didn't grow very much. He had lots of tests, the Dr's. were concerned and then finally when they had no answer they became unconcerned and tried to make me feel that way too. Finally we changed Dr's and he was diagnosed. Poor little guy. But he was a fighter. I'm glad he was because it served him well in his life.

Jim makes me laugh. He is a comedian. He has the timing and the jokes. He is quick witted. He makes me laugh at myself. It is really fun to see things through Jimmy's eyes. He is a bit of a pessimist too. He told me that the other day as if I didn't already know. But, even though I'm an optimist and don't know how he managed to get by that Pollyanna attitude of mine, I do see that he has to be stronger to get over that natural tendency in himself. So he fights it.

He makes goals and conquers them. He is a success too, built on a GED from high school and no college education. Self made man. He manages people who love him and his management style. He governs from within the circle of his employees not above them. They know they can joke with him and he with them. He uses this humor with his kids as well. They know they can joke with Dad, but he makes it very easy to see when he means business and that joking is not appropriate. He is so serious about his role as husband and father. He is a romantic guy (I think he gets that from his grandfather) especially on their anniversary. His goal is to make Samantha feel like a queen on their special day. His girls are definitely princesses although they are frequently given healthy doses of sarcasm for a reality check.

He has his serious side for sure. Jim isn't too proud to say that he is a sensitive man. He is an armchair psychologist, especially helping those who struggle in the same ways he did, or helping their parents. He is definitely paying it forward all the time.

Jim calls me everyday. Sometimes we get personal and talk about our own needs. I've used Jim's armchair psychology as well. And I've learned so much from him. But, usually we laugh because our lengthy conversations have a tendency to wander and it always amazes us how varied our topics are. It can start with politics, go to theology, family, then back to a spiritual vein, then on to psychology and back again. Never a dull moment.

Recently when I left he hugged me tight and said "You just can't leave me can you?" He was teasing, but his hold on me and mine on him told us both that he was my favorite. No really it's Scott. He came a four and half years after Jim. I wasn't supposed to be able to have any more children so he is our miracle. Scott is the baby, always will be. He has been told he better plan on that for his whole life. One of the things I love most about Scott is that he accepts that.

When he got two lifesaving awards through his job as a policeman I was there. As he took the stage I shouted "That's my boy!" Everyone in the room was shocked. Except Scott. I think he almost expected it. I felt bad afterward that I might have caused him embarrassment but he just shrugged it off with a smile saying that he just told people "Now you know why I'm the way I am is because of my mom." That's my boy.

Scott was never one of those kids who expected me to drop him off a block or two from school. He was never ashamed to kiss his mom goodbye right in front of school. He always admitted to being a Mama's boy, even if he didn't have any of the signs or characteristics that come with that title...except with his mom.

I do believe Scott and I had a soul to soul connection. Sometimes it went beyond parent-child. He seemed to know me better than anyone else. I remember one time Bud came home from a meeting where they described people by colors. He told me that he and everyone who knew me decided I was a red. Red is a good thing, no doubt, but to me it didn't describe me at all. Powerful, in charge, leader, go-getter etc. I was really hurt that no one really knew me, particularly my husband. When I asked Scott what color he thought described me, he said I was blue with a little yellow. Blue is basically loyal, true, and yellow is fun. Exactly the way I would describe myself. It meant alot to me.

I so appreciated that Scott was not embarrassed about his mom, but even seemed to be proud of me. He has told me several incidents that he passed on his "mom's wise advise" or cliche's to someone who was in trouble. He reminds me of positive things I have done in my life that I would have forgotten otherwise.

Scott is honest to the highest degree. I hope he always will stay that way. It is really a great trait for a police officer to have. He is a straight shooter, but he always looks at people with optimism of who they could be, and he tries to guide them in that direction.

Family is vital to him, not just important. He waited to find a bride that felt exactly the same way. He was never going to throw his family under the bus for love or money. He and Cynthia will carry their love and respect for family on to their own family. They even bought a house that they could raise a large family in without moving to give them stability It is easy to see why Scott is my favorite!

To summarize: Marque is my favorite because he helps me find humility and understand the power of success is the capability to make the lives of others better. Jim is my favorite because he helps me find humor in life and he is sensitive to others lives because he overcame his own challenges. Scott is my favorite because he not only accepts but loves me as I am, and loves each person in the world because of who they are. I must be God's favorite because he gave me these three incredible sons. Thank you Heavenly Father with all my heart.