Monday, October 10, 2011
Inside she threw a sweater over her shoulders trying not to use the heat in the small apartment. She wiped the frosty webs off the pane of the window as she peered out into the harrowing night. “Hurry, please hurry”, she whispered, watching her breath disappear into the air. It wasn’t pain she felt, just a discomfort that was unexplainable. She just wanted him home, her rock, her strength. He would make her forget the uneasiness she felt.
Despite her faith in him, even he, couldn’t erase her anxiety. What was it she was feeling? This wasn’t at all how people described it, actually it wasn’t possible. This wasn’t even supposed to be happening for another month. Why now? Several times through the night she woke up with a jolt, not really understanding what it was that jostled her from her sleep. One o’clock, two fifteen, three o’clock, she fell into a deep sleep. She awoke in a fright. Something was wrong. Her hands caught the moistness in the bed and retracted quickly. She screamed his name.
He bolted out of the bed , eyes wide with disbelief. “No! It can’t be! There’s no way!” He struggled to put his pants on and threw her a coat simultaneously. “ It can’t be. What shall we do? “ Somehow at this moment in his panic, she became calm “We just have to go now, it will be okay. I know it will be okay.”
The car was cold, it wasn’t used to the cold weather that hit so suddenly. He put his hand over the seat, looking back to see his young wife waiting. He took a deep breath, summoning courage to support her through this unimaginable experience. She looked hazy through the icy windshield, but she was still beautiful .
No phone! No way to contact the world outside, yet it was vital to make that connection. There was a diner ahead, a phone. She sat outside in the car, in the blizzard, on that October morning while her husband sat warmly at the counter having a cup of coffee. “Hurry”, she pleaded silently, “Please hurry.”
They were back on the road trying to find the way. He had lived there most of his life, yet it seemed so foreign in the blackness of the night with the swirling snow filling up every dark space. Where were they? Each road seemed the same, were they going in circles? She held onto her burden tightly praying they would make it in time. “No, don’t you see, that was the way.” He hit the steering wheel with frustration and fear, fear that they wouldn’t make it in time. At that moment she said “It’s too late, it’s too late” With that declaration she gave up. He saw her body become tense with her feet planted firmly on the floor and staring straight ahead. He was still driving as this was occurring. He grabbed at the air and she grabbed the steering wheel guiding them toward the corner of Pierce and Colfax. He put on the brakes, turned off the ignition. They both sighed a sigh of momentary relief.
Joy filled the air in that little 1946 Ford Coupe. Little did they realize they would become parents in this car, in this blizzard, on this October morning. They were so naïve they didn’t know what to do after they swatted the little bottom of their dear little bundle. She took off her coat and wrapped the baby up. She was perfect, even though she was early, she was perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes, lots of black hair, a pert little turned up nose, chubby cheeks, PERFECT! The joy was full, complete, audible and short!
All of the sudden the coldness pulled them out of their reverie. They still needed to find the hospital, fast! She saw one ahead, “Over there dear. Daddy!” He drove into the driveway as quickly as the mounds of snow would allow. He ran into the hospital sputtering “My wife just had a baby, she’s in the car”. The nurse, who looked like a nurse even though she was wearing a housecoat said “You can’t bring her in here this is a Tuberculosis Hospital. “A tb hospital? I can’t bring her in here. Where is the Beth Israel hospital ”, he shouted doing an about face. They were only a few blocks off course so he was shortly repeating to the Emergency nurses the same rant, “My wife just had a baby, they’re in the car”. The nurse followed him with some chagrin, but quickly changed her attitude upon seeing the new mother and her wrapped bundle. “She did have a baby! There is a baby! “ They ran back into the hospital the father and the nurse. She kept giving him gauze that he kept stuffing into his pockets, more guaze and more guaze. “What are you going to do with those scissors? She’s cold, please hurry. The baby has no clothes on. Hurry!” Panicked he led the little parade to the car.
The new mommy felt fine in spite of her husbands panic. She was to learn in future births and life’s occasions that he would carry the emotion and she would be the one to remain calm. She handed her little baby to the nurse as she climbed onto the gurney. After giving birth to her first child, she knew that she began her life’s work, being a Mom.
She looked around as the snow danced in bright little flakes around her, taking a deep breath she thought about how a dark blustery October morning, gave way to a beautiful, joyous surprise.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Today I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss what it takes to be a friend. I'm sure if each one of you can think of someone who has touched your life for the moment, day, or period of time you needed them, and perhaps someone who has become a lifelong friend.
When I was a young girl in Brownies we learned the little song that was short, but very profound. "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold." I knew then that this meant friends were important, and I understood that gold and silver were valuable, but as a youngster I don't know that I really understood the concept that friends were such a valuable commodity. I'm grateful I understand.
My Dad was the kind of person who was a friend to everyone. I have 3 sons who have the same kind of charisma he did. They can walk into a room of strangers and leave with a room of friends. Remarkable gift. People just wanted to be around Dad's pleasant smile and easy way. He made every person feel important. There was no measuring stick for him, there was a value in everyone. He was kind of like Will Rogers who of course "never met a man he didn't like". We can all do this by looking for the nugget inside each person that creates beauty. We've all met people who can always find fault in everyone, It's easy to just reverse it and look for the good. If you find it, then there is no doubt you will want them to be your friend.
My Mom was the one who carried details about people. This was a great assist to my dad....sometimes as they were walking up to someone my Mom would begin to feed my Dad the details "His wife is Faith, two children Grace and Jane, saw them at the company picnic." By this time Dad was shaking George's hand and patting him on the back asking how Grace and Jane were doing. Mom keeps friends forever and continuously adds to her friendship bouquet. A couple weeks ago we went to Denver for a wedding and stopped in to see her best friend who she met in the early 40's. They were "Rosie Riveters" together during the Second World War. To see them together was like they had never been apart, bosom buddies........they are among the first bff's.
I too am grateful for the relationships I made all through my life. They are golden to me.
? Have you ever had a friend that even if you haven't seen them in years - - you pick up right where you left off?
That's not ALWAYS how it is. It takes a lot of responsibility to be a friend, and stay a friend. Friendships need to be nurtured not taken for granted.
? What can you do to maintain that relationship?
Keep in touch. If you don't you might lose track of them.....
Know what their life events are?
Jan/Karen after she died.
? What can you do to have a golden relationship?
Give and Take
If you don't have a balanced relationship then it will lead eventually to regret or resentment.
My contract with my friends
Recognize the value in each person?
? Once you recognize it, what do you do with it?
If you keep these little hints you will have Friendships of Gold
NOW WHAT ABOUT THE SILVER--New Friendships?
How do you go about meeting new friends? I recently moved here from California. I was lucky enough to have an abundance of friends already here, as a matter of fact some of them threw a "Welcome to Utah" party for me. But I wanted to meet some new friends as well, so I could feel comfortable in my new home.
Karen Cook story--A long time ago I realized that you can make a new friend anywhere and in just a minute or two.....just look like you are open....don't close yourself off. I meet some of the neatest people in line at the grocery store. I know we are impatient people but it makes the time in line go much more quickly if you just look at the people around you who are impatient too and lift the time and their spirits a little too. I used to practice this on the busy freeways in California. You're stuck on the 60...going nowhere fast. Smile a little, wave a little, it will fill the time much more quickly. How about at McDonalds? I think people really think there is just an arm waiting on them. Have you ever recognized the arm is attached to someone? Someone who has a life, a smile, a heartbeat? Ask them how they are doing the next time you grab that McMeal! You might make a McFriend.
Scott's story---Police Dept Training Class.
? What? Where? and How? are some other ways we can meet new friends?
Going to places where you share commonalities. Toastmasters, church, Curves, School, Art classes.
? How do you nurture a new friendship?
Trust. "They don't know how much you know, until they know how much you care."
Build experiences and memories together.
Know what is important to them.
Be there when they need you--Lean on them when you are needing a hand.
Begin cementing the relationship by building traditions/memories.
Mark Twain said something once I wholeheartedly believe is true "I can live for two weeks on a single compliment." Share those little rays of sunshine, you will be the one who is blessed. YOU will find a new friend,
Thank you Miss Toastmaster.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Yesterday as I got up way earlier than planned I discovered that now I wasn't forcing myself to take each step I was bouncing and bounding. I stopped and took a look into the mirror and said "Leslie Trosper, you are cute." I found that I didn't really MAKE a decision about the surgery it just kind of made itself. I have not lost any more weight in the past couple weeks, but I feel healthier so I am going to proceed slowly rather than with the quick loss that surgery would provide. I respect people that make that decision as well. It isn't the easy way out, as some people think. It takes alot of change...I just think I want to enjoy each tiny little change as it comes. I have actually faced the reality that I may not see alot of weight change, but I have proven to myself and others that I can be healthy, happy, and me at any weight. I will continue doing my best by eating properly and exercising and the Lord will fill in that GAP for me in the way that HE sees best.
As far as the job goes, I am having a blast in the interview process, but I will be making some other decisions shortly. The process has helped me to see myself at my finest. I KNOW someone will be lucky to get me, and I am looking forward to a new chapter. For the first time, ever, I know I can be successful financially while inspiring others to be successful as well.
Some of the other things that have specifically helped me were: 1) getting on the ATV when Marque encouraged me...made me feel so young, so alive! 2) Vickie and I working through and encouraging each other to keep on moving when our instinct was to just commiserate with each other. 3) Being around Sarah and Leah who brighten my world by just being in it! 4) Talking to my other kids and having them support and encourage me whatever my decisions 5) Living in, being mindful of, and thanking God for each moment and each tiny little success, viz., "Wow, I got out of bed! Good job Leslie, thank you God for pushing me to do what I asked you to push me to do." "This shower is awesome, shampooing my hair makes me feel so alive. Thank you God for water, soap, shower curtains, my little house, for Marque who gives it to me cheaply, my blue and white shower curtain."
Now, I am walking on clouds...I don't know how it happened or what it is, but I know EXACTLY how it happened and EXACTLY what it is.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
I never thought exercise would be fun! It takes 30 minutes to do the regular program and so even a busy (cough-cough) person like me can find time to get it done at least 3 times a week.
Zumba also takes 30 minutes but leaves me more exhausted, more sweaty, and strangely more energized. Laura, the Zumba instructor is just so fun, and can really show us how to move our body. As far as my eating healthy lifestyle it is pretty simple...eat at least 3 x's a day, drink lots more water and lots less coke, eat more fruits and vegetables than anything else, but don't deprive myself.
I've been on a weight loss course all my life. I've tried everything. Weight watchers is the best I think because their plan is one you can live with, and is well balanced. I gained weight though in the 4 or 5 times I tried it previously. Probably because other plans or "fad" diets dropped my caloric intake to very little so I didn't have anywhere to go. I was even on a 500 calorie diet with daily shots at one time in my life and stopped losing after 20 pounds even though I stayed the course for over 6 months. When you actually start eating more than 500 calories a day you actually gain weight.....what? Who would've thought? Duh! I also had a dental devise put on my teeth so I couldn't eat anything solid....it caused me to eventually need crowns on all my teeth but didn't help my weight loss at all. Tried it all.....and got to the point that I could go a day or more without eating at all. Then someone told me I was heavy because I didn't eat. I think it was the people at Six Week Body Makeover who told me that when I went on their "fast start" and gained weight. Crazy!
So, I have spent a year or so trying to get a metabolism back. Even though I hear it is best to eat 5 small meals a day I have found it hard to get 3 in. I used to not eat until 2-4 each day because that is when I finally got hungry. Some wise person told me that my metabolism wasn't even thinking of starting until I ate. Oh, so you mean the reason I get hungrier if I actually eat breakfast is because my metabolism has started? Duh! I convinced myself I didn't like breakfast so I had to re-train my brain that it didn't matter what I ate as long as I ate....gotta get that metabolism busy. I still rarely get very hungry so I almost have to schedule eating like you would schedule medication. I buy good things to eat, various fruits and vegetables, but since I don't get hungry and therefore I don't think of snacking I sometimes waste the food. So the good news for me is the more I eat....of the right things....the more I lose.
My Dr. told me last month that he wanted me to have a gastric-bypass to improve my health. I had already lost about 25 pounds and was looking for a job so this wasn't what I expected to hear. But, he said that almost all my issues would disappear if I went through with it. So I am praying for what the Lord feels is the right path for me. I was leaning toward the surgery when I got on the scale and had the newest weight loss. I don't know yet what the right answer is, but I definitely know I will continue doing more of the same thing I have been doing until I have my answer.
One of the things I think was also important is that I learned to love myself before I started losing weight. I think that is the most valuable advise I could ever give. So maybe some day my pants will fall right off my body, but I will still be the same person that I look at in the mirror. Fat or skinny doesn't matter what the packaging because it still holds all the bad, or good that was always there!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Several years ago when my granddaughter had achieved a certain amount of success in her potty training she was allowed to explore Toys R Us for a reward. She chose a magic wand. Dancing around the store, she tapped amused strangers with her new wand granting their wishes. With great flourish and fantasy she mimicked her favorite Fairy Godmother saying, “Pooping and peeing makes all your dreams come true. Pooping and peeing makes all your dreams come true!” At two years old Hailey already knew that happiness could be possessed by dreams granted. How long has it been since I even allowed myself to wish or dream? Or even knew what I wanted to wish or dream?
I never really needed a wand because I had a fairytale childhood….is it even popular to say that anymore? My parents created their very own magic. They danced around the house in each other’s arms with twinkles in their eyes…at least it seemed that way to me. I could almost see the bird of happiness sitting on my mother’s shoulder as they shared a kiss, two short pecks and one long. I dreamed of creating my own magical kingdom so I married my Prince Charming 45 years ago. As time went on we had 3 handsome Princes who charmed our lives. We shared so many of our own “Once upon a Times”. The Kingdom of Trosper grew as each son took a beautiful bride. Now we have 4 cute little Princesses and one more on the way. Every fairy tale has it’s villain and two years ago the unimaginable ogre, “Divorce,” crushed my fairy tale kingdom.
Now what? That’s how I came upon this magic wand. It was given to me by my Fairy God Psychologist to help me see the possibility of creating a new chapter for myself. Perhaps it’s only the child within that can believe in the possibilities. Did I lose that little child in me? It would be worthile to explore getting to know her again, if only to re-discover the magic held in this magnificent wand.
If I were to design my own wand it would be crowned by a big red heart. This is appropriate because even if I’ve temporarily lost my belief in the “magic” of dreams, I have never lost faith in the power of love. So maybe with image of a little girl, a wee belief in the “abracadabra” or “bippity boppity boo” magic of dreams, a sprinkle or two of love, and the counsel of my new Fairy Godmother I can find some old fantasies, or create some new possibilities.
I close my eyes tight and with great flourish and fantasy wave my little wand and mimicking my little granddaughter I say “just wish and hoping can make all my dreams come true! Just wishing and hoping can make all my dreams come true! Just wishing and hoping can make all my dreams come true!”
Friday, April 29, 2011
Luke 10:38-42, “Now it came to pass, as they went, that He entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard His Word.But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to Him, and said, Lord, dost Thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, “Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Vickie and I in discussing this scripture story had to realize we had alot of Martha in us. Having had several events that I had to prepare for in my family and in church callings, I can imagine just exactly how Martha felt. Frustrated. We only really hear about Jesus being in the home, but we know Lazarus was Martha and Mary's brother so we can safely assume he was there as well as the Disciples, who were always in the Lord's company during this period. We know Jesus taught, so we can imagine there might have even been more people following.
Can you imagine Martha fulfilling the woman's role in that day of staying in the background and serving. She probably had a great deal to prepare to feed all those visiting, setting the table up, and cleaning to make things perfect. I'm sure much of it was done particularly for Jesus to serve him. I can just picture Martha sending chilling daggers to Mary who just sat at the Saviors feet with no regard to Martha's looks and probable hand signals to assist. It is apparent her level of frustration became overwhelming when she actually approached Jesus asking Him to tell Mary to help. Being the oldest of many brothers and sisters I can see this as not only tattling, but a way to draw attention to herself and her efforts.
Poor Martha, her ploy certainly backfired. Christ did indicate that He was aware of Martha's actions, but He did not praise her. Instead he chastised and rebuked her for being distracted. He indicates that Mary had chosen the correct behavior. She was hearing, learning, and worshiping at His feet.
Hmmmm. As Vickie and I discussed this we became aware that our character includes parts of Martha (the OCDness) and gratefully our spirits are tender and we want to hear and learn from our Savior so we might some day be at His feet ourselves.
I think the world finds itself kind of in a Martha syndrome, we are too worried about appearances. There is no doubt there are things that need to be done. The Lord's house is a house of order, but there is a balance to it. If we get to the point of doing it for the wrong reasons then we have gone overboard. I'm talking in terms of homemaking for two reasons: one, that was Martha's issue, and secondly, that is my issue. But, we can insert any other "works" here. All important, but not to the point that God and Godliness don't exceed them in importance. Martha is a person of action. We can see her action is good works, helping others and that isn't bad. She was serving the Lord and others.
If Christ was in my home I can imagine that my first thoughts might be the dust on the floor, or the fact that I didn't have enough "good" food to serve Him. No, no I'm wrong. I really can't believe those would be my first actions. I will want to fall at His feet and worship Him, thank Him, cry into His lap, or crawl into His lap to be embraced. There is no need to worry about feeding all the neighbors that would gather around, afterall, He can feed thousands with so little. Martha didn't have time to realize that because she was too busy with the niceties.
Do I have to wait until Christ walks into my living room to learn from Martha and Mary? No I can change now. One of my OCD things is my list. I have to write a list every day to get the things from rattling round in my brain continually. The top of my list says Martha and Mary. Under my Martha list are a few things that I need to get done to keep an orderly home. Under my Mary list are things that will draw me closer to God, after all we are told "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." That tells me, if I be a Mary first, then all the Martha things will come too.
I kind of see the Martha things (from my point of view) are those things that might be my "image" concerns. The Mary things would be prayer, scriptures, reading in good books, listening to good music, meditation, contemplation, charity, church callings, being in touch with loved ones. My comfort zone is being busy in my house, so those are the things I always find myself doing first. That means the other things fall second. That is definitely not what the Savior said to Martha, or in so many other areas of the Scriptures.
"And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these." — Mark 12:30
I am not a scriptorian but I don't recall a 43rd or 45th commandment saying "Thou shalt make your bed every day" or "thy mirrors MUST be free of all fingerprints". So I am going to try, try, try to put aside my OCDness and my Martha-ness in favor of all that I have learned from her.
Wondering what Martha did after Christ rebuked her? We don't really know but maybe we get a hint from the story where her brother Lazarus died. Jesus was coming and Martha ran out to meet Him, to challenge Him because she knew He could do anything. Mary instead was at home probably praying, and waited until Martha returned to tell her Christ was asking for her. I'm sure Martha tried, but still this shows she was a woman of action, who wanted to get things done in her timing. Mary was more contemplative, waiting on a call from her Lord. Mary puts a spiritual response ahead of a physical response.
It is obvious these two women were both very important to Jesus, and they were both good women. But we can learn from them, from their responses, and from the few words the Lord said to them, and to us. We need to try to keep a Mary mindset in a Martha world.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
My mom has always kept in touch with old friends and family members, including cousins once, twice removed. I think it's one of the things that keeps her young. She not only enjoys the relationships, but she feels somewhat responsible for them as well. We are preparing for a Johnson family reunion next month and she has been in touch with many of her nieces and nephews to give them a personal invitation and encourage them to come. She is the only one from her generation remaining. All of her brothers and sisters and their spouses have passed away, so they all look to mom as their surrogate parent. She does a good job of making them all feel special.
She set a good example in my life, and I embraced it. My sister, Lynette, described this to me as my talent. She said I gather friends like a bouquet and it is a beautiful one. The good thing about my friend bouquet is that they never wilt. Some blooms may get lost for awhile, and others get more attention but they are always there. Many have come back into my life in the past few weeks in a remarkable burst of color. Let me tell you about some of them.
Lyn, is a foxglove. She stands tall, so tall. No, I'm really not saying that because my sister is soooo much taller than me. It's because she has a strong stem, that holds a myriad of blooms. She plays so many roles and has so many talents and does them all with strength and beauty.
Vickie is a rose. I met her in Temecula when Bud and I started having a rough road. Not in our marriage yet, but in life. Vickie was so immediately in tune with me that she knew it before I did and was there to catch my fall. She moved to Utah a few years ago, and now I'm here. We celebrate our friendship, encourage and mirror each others positive traits, every Tuesday. It's a day we try to work the rest of our life around because we build each other up. She seems to bloom more beautifully each time I see her.
Lisa is a gazania. She has faced way too many challenges, health and otherwise in the past decade. She came back into my life all the way from Arkansas. We have had the opportunity to have several long discussions over facebook and on the phone. She is a gazania because she is laying close the the ground grabbing on to the good soil wherever it is and sinking her roots in.
Samuel. I hesitate to name Sam's likeness as a flower, he just wouldn't have it. Sam was Scott's best man at his wedding so it is obvious that he has been a part of my life continually, but there has been a reconnection and a sweet new connection lately. A month or so ago I had a strong feeling that I needed to be in touch with him. There wasn't a particularly positive or negative reason, but it was strong that we needed to talk. We did, it was a nice reconnection, but neither of us could figure out the urgency of my feelings. We met in person in the next couple of weeks as we were all hanging on together with faith, as our friend Ian fought and lost his battle for life. The family, including Sam, sat in Scott's and Cynthia's family room and built strength together. What a blessing that was. I have had the opportunity to be a part of Sam's life more regularly, more intensely, and more sweetly since then. His sweet Jeanette is a sweet pea and she and Sam intertwine with each other and with others along their path.
Elaine is a carnation. She was my friend in Sun City and moved here a few years ago. We agree we had a special connection, but maybe one that was realized even more after she moved. We have loved reconnecting. Elaine fills a bouquet like a carnation. She makes it purpose and goal to enrich lives. She doesn't give up easily either, well maybe not at all. Carnatons have that sweet, but kind of spicy fragrance and that kind of describes her as well. Sweet and spicy.
Tomoe just has to be a cherry blossom. She was a foreign exchange student maybe 25+ years ago. We had alot of them, but Tomoe was the first. She along with Mikiko really attached themselves to our family and we to them. Tomoe has kept in touch very well over the years, but we kind of lost track of each other in the past 5 years or so. The earthquake wasn't close to where we last knew her to be, but Jimmy kept having concern, so I started my investigation to find her. Gratefully she is well, but concerned for her country and the people. She said that the one good thing about the earthquake is that we are connected again. She struggles to translate my notes to Japanese, and hers to English. But she is so intrigued with catching up with everyone. Unlike the cherry blossom our friendship will make it through all seasons.
Thank goodness for internet and Facebook. Last night, very late, I found two old friends from Ashburn, VA. It wasn't easy, I kind of had to become a sleuth to find them. I went to bed hardly able to sleep because I reconnected with sisters Michelle and Eileen. It is tantalizing to imagine all we have to talk about to catch up. We'll call them petunias because they are the annuals that just pop up in a garden and a bouquet when you least expect them, but you can definitely count on them.
This blog would be so lengthy if I touched on each of the other wonderful friends I connected with here in Utah since moving in January, so I will call them "babies breath". They fill in my bouquet with their amazing heavenly beauty. They have made this move and transition in my life easy, but more than that. Thank you Christine, Molly, Michelle, Jan, Tim, Jennifer, Beth, Alicia, Andrea, Cindy, Valerie, Eileen, Danny, Joe, Brenda, Candice, Ray, Shea, Barbara, and all my future "old friends" that I get to reconnect with very soon. I look forward to the spring and summer renewal of blossoming. (I know this metaphor is getting kinda corny--but it is true! C'mon, give a girl a break)
I love it. I love my friends and my beautiful friend bouquet. I don't know if this is really my talent as Lynette said, or if it is truly one of God's blessings to help me through the spots filled with manure! Love you all!