The Glass Half Full

9:38 AM Edit This 5 Comments »
My mother is the optimist of all optimists. Whenever she faces a tough time, or when one of us faces an obstacle she reminds us "Well, I always choose to see the glass half full....and....", then she will continue making an observation about the situation that finds that positive point of view. For instance: when I was crying about my marriage ending and how I didn't have any choice or control in the situation she said "Well I always choose to see the glass half full, and you and Bud are lucky that you are such good friends."

You can see how I tend to be an optimist myself, I was trained well. I am so grateful for my Mom's point of view. It has always been helpful to look for the silver lining in any cloud. It helps me be resilient. I think of myself like a basketball...usually in the air, in the middle of a fun game. Once in a while I hit the ground but bounce up rather quickly to be passed on to another situation and maybe even score a few. But, there have been times in my life that I have been dribbled pretty close to the ground and had a harder time finding the resilience to bounce back up and into the game. However, I always do because I have been trained to look for the bright spots, the open spaces, and have learned that it's a lot more fun to be in the game high, than close to the ground.

That being said, I have objected to my mom's theory that it's best to look at the glass half full...be an optimist. At one point when she was reminding me of her optimistic view I pointed out that I would never be a pessimist. I can't even imagine not trying to find the "sunny side" of any cloudy day. My question is how do we appreciate the glass 1/2 full and still want it to be completely full? That requires a step beyond optimism in my view, it requires a blend of realism with the optimism. Thomas Edison would never have invented the light bulb if he had been content to see the glass 1/2 full. I believe Tom was an optimist. I believe he saw the world through pretty rosy glasses, but he wasn't content to say "I see the glass half full, or "Aren't I lucky that I have a fire to study by?", or "Gee this candle is sure a bright one tonight." No, he took a look at how lucky he was to see the world as a pretty optimistic place, but how can I make it better? He had to push beyond the "Pollyanna" vision and the rose colored glasses to make life EVEN better.

I have a friend who raised way more than her share of kids. What an amazing person she was. Always optimistic and funny as heck. She wrote me a poem once thanking me for seeing her as she was...through the clown surface. "I've always been the village clown. Always up and never down..." She would help us mothers get through our grey days by cracking us up with her kids antics. She was an artist too so she had tempra paint around the house. Tempra paint is powdered and then mixed with water for the desired consistency and color. Her kids got her paint and made it "snow" in their bedroom. Can you just imagine that picture of them jumping up and down while making it snow. Well they were good kids and recognized they better clean up the mess so they put a hose through the window to wash down the "snow". Can you imagine Mom's surprise to enter to the room and see rivers of "green" tempra paint all over the room? If only I could tell the story with the antimation she did appreciating her kids ingenuity. I admired her because she could see the humor in this devastating circumstance. What I saw later in life is that she chose to see the "bright" side of situations with her children when they were older that weren't so bright, really. She helped me see that we can't always see the glass as half full because it isn't. I recognized that rose colored glasses can sometimes turn into blinders. We have to be able to see things for what they are or we won't be able to resolve them.

So in summary, I believe it is absolutely awesome to be raised in a household where we looked on the "sunny side of the street". It is good to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. But sometimes you have to recognize that the better plan is to be grateful for whatever is filling your glass, but wonder how you can fill it up to overflowing. Take off the blinders, take off the rose color glasses so you can see the world in all it's beautiful colors and for what it really is. Life. Life, full of clouds so we recognize the rainbows, full of sticky thorns on beautiful roses, dribbling the ball down on the floor to get the resilience to bounce up for a pass and a basket.

I'm alright!

11:27 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
I love music. As a matter of fact I claim that to be one of my talents, loving music....lyrics and melodies, from the simple to the sublime, from hip hop to classical. I wish, I really wish that I was capable of putting my thoughts to music, but I then again I find that it isn't necessary for me to do so because other people do. Isn't it amazing that people all over have exactly the same or similar experiences and feelings to life that I do, and they can write it to fit my emotions to a T?

Throughout my life I found that most of those lyrics that met my emotional fit, were the ones involving love, family, and happy times. In recent years they have involved heartbreak, unrequited love, and memories of happier times. Still more recently the songs that I relate to involve reconciling with all those emotions, acceptance, survival, hope, and yes, even joy.

There have been so many times I have considered writing a blog on different songs that simply describe what my feeling is at that particular moment. So here is the first of many.

And I guess I'm feeling alright!

On my playlist to the right you will be listening to Jodee Messina singing
"I'm Alright" written and also recorded by Phil Vassar.

I'm all I'm all I'm alright
It's a beautiful day not a cloud in sight so I guess I'm doin' alright
O-oh o-oh, I'm alright
I got a good old friend here with me tonight and I guess I'm doin' alright
Said I guess I'm doin' alright
Oh I'm all I'm all I'm alright
It's a beautiful day not a cloud in sight so I guess I'm doin' alright
O-oh o-oh, I'm ma ma ma alright
I got a good old friend here with me tonight and I guess I'm doin' alright
Well I'm doin' alright
Well I'm doin' alright

Can you imagine...

2:58 PM Posted In , Edit This 4 Comments »
I got a card from my Mom yesterday. She was talking about her "beautiful, bouncing, baby girl" having a birthday.

Being a rather ordinary person, it is amazing to note that I did bounce into the world in a rather extraordinary way. I loved the story when I was young, and when I got older I thought that it had been "added upon" for the "telling" value, but found that it was pretty much as presented. One of the newspaper articles said "this little lady will have quite a story to tell when she is older, with plenty of newspaper articles to show because Denver newspapers gave quite a play to this happy event". My baby books are replete with lots of newspaper articles.

My dad worked for Ford Motor Company and it was in the company newspaper something like this "Ford employee, William Bliss, helped deliver his little baby girl, Leslie Dianne, in his 1946 Ford Coupe." Wasn't that irony? To me the most ironic thing is that my Dad who was raised in Denver his whole life got lost getting my Mom to the hospital. How is that possible? Okay, maybe there was a terrible snow blizzard and he couldn't see a thing. Perhaps it was pure panic at the thought of becoming a father, or the fact that I wasn't expected for five to six weeks. Maybe he had too much coffee in him because he had to sit at the counter drinking coffee waiting for the Dr. to call because they had no phone at their apartment. My Mom must have been freezing in the car, in labor, no less watching him through the window just drinking more coffee. Of course to hear my mom tell the story she wasn't even sure she was in labor until her water broke. I don't know why my dad got lost but he did.

This was the era that was just transitioning from binding women so they couldn't give birth until the proper time. My Dad had just read a LIFE magazine article discussing the detrimental effects this practice would have on babies and their mothers. He suggested my mom remove her panties so it wouldn't bind and when she did I was born. Now this is the part I thought was magnified. "You were born and before you hit the floor Daddy grabbed you, and I grabbed the steering wheel." "WHAT???" Did they really mean I was born as they were moving in this blizzard condition while they were lost? Come on! How incredible is that? Well it was true apparently. Sometimes it is this quick birth that is used to explain, or try to explain, my short height; "You hit the floorboard and it stunted your growth." My craziness; "The reason you are so NUTS is because you hit the floorboard when you were born."

This wasn't the end of this amazing story. After I was born my Mom wrapped me in her coat. You know I never asked, but I do assume that at some point they did stop the car and re-adjust. But, eventually they headed on their little hunt for the hospital. Just ahead there is a light in the distance, yes, yes, it IS a hospital.

Can you imagine the nurses trying to put together the rantings of my 26 year old father exclaiming "My wife just had a baby in the car. My baby is in the car." Finally they placated him by scurrying to the car...I'm sure they didn't want to, remember there was a blizzard! When they got there the nurse said "There IS a baby, there IS a baby!" She sent my Dad back into the hospital for the gauze and scissors. My mom said she had gauze for many years to come because they just kept stuffing it into his pockets. The nurse cut the cord and declared "You can't bring them in here. This is a tuberculosis hospital." She sent them on their way to Beth Israel hospital.

After they finally arrived at the correct hospital they went to get a gurney, or was it a wheelchair, for my mom and me. My mom being the farm girl she was, was ready to get up and walk into the hospital. It was all just too easy for her, but she was so naive, she hadn't had the afterbirth removed yet. Can you imagine her walking in with the cord swinging back and forth between her legs?? Yuck and LOL...hard to get over that vision.

So finally we made it. I was declared born at 5:20 am (I don't know if that was the birth time, or the arrival at the hospital time) on October 14, 1947. My Dad was William James Bliss 26 years old, and my Mom was Veora Rose Johnson Bliss 22 years old. I was a baby boomer. There was no room for my mom at the inn, and her hospital bed was in the hallway. I wasn't the only baby born that day, but I know I had the biggest adventure getting there.

I am 62 years old today so that day was long ago. I've had a very good and fulfilling life, but I don't think there has ever been a day I have been so unexpected and so extraordinary. Maybe it's time I start living up to my grand entrance! LOL

Okay....when is enough, enough?

10:32 AM Edit This 2 Comments »
I'm a Pollyanna, I admit it. There are people who say they have never seen me without a smile on my face. I'm a true lemonade maker from the lemons I'm given. My favorite quotes have to do with having a positive attitude and finding the good in everything, everyone, and every situation. I can't help it. It probably comes from recognizing that there are always people who have it worse than me, no matter what. That's true isn't it?

Well I have been thrown so many lemons lately that I think I am going to drown in the lemonade. Things haven't gone well lately.

Every time I let myself feel grief I almost immediately remind myself how many good things are in my life, and for those I am ever grateful.

Someone told me recently that maybe the reason things keep happening to upset my life is because I never let my life get upset. Well that's just darn unfair if that's true! Honestly, I do feel blessed, but if anyone told me they were going through some of the things I'm going through, I would really feel bad for them, yet I don't give myself that same sympathy.

Here it is with as much emotion as I can muster for myself:

We bought our first house when I was 21 years old in Fullerton and here I am almost 62 about to have no home. Maybe there are some things I could have done along the way to change the situation partially but for the most part this loss is not because of any mistakes I have made.

I have had a multitude of health issues, but I am grateful to keep chugging along. This past year those problems plus stress have caused me to become too tired....well beyond tired, I am suffering from extreme exhaustion. I work all week, drive 110 miles a day back and forth, and on the weekends I sleep to prepare myself for the next week.

I've also lost my husband, well actually I didn't lose him, he chose to leave, and with him he took what I considered to be an excellent marriage. I have pondered, reviewed and tortured myself, but though I don't profess to be perfect, I KNOW I was in the marriage 100%. There was nothing more important to me, and I honored every vow, covenant, and promise I made. I was there for him in every way possible, sometimes probably more than I should have been. It was the biggest loss I have ever felt, and even though I can recognize the virtues in my life, I am still mourning.

Yesterday my boss told me that he is forced to cut my wages, my hours, or let me go. He just hired someone in January. She is an amazing worker, no doubt, and she makes less than I do. She is Hispanic and has that community that we have never been able to fully enter until now. The other person in the office has just been with Farmers for 5 years. So together they have less than half of my 26 years of experience in the business, and they make more than half of my pay. They aren't losing money, hours, or their job. Why? Yes my health has had an effect on my performance, but even at a lower performance rate I still function better than most people in my position. Is this a medical discrimination? Age discrimination? No, I think it is experience discrimination. I make more money than most of the people in my position. They are paying me pretty much what my previous employer was paying me when they bought him out. I haven't asked for increases (except when gas went through the roof the first time) because I was aware that they paid me more than most. But they were reaping the benefits of my experience as well. A couple years ago I found someone who was going to pay me an equitable salary and they offered me some incentives, which they recently pulled....a hint of what was coming, and so I felt valued and chose to stay. Besides, I love my clients. Now, there is no offer and I can't survive without the income. So they have taken away my pride and my independence which were almost all I had left.

No, that's not true, is it? I have my granddaughters and future grandchildren, my kids and their spouses, my extended family, and my faith. The Lord is with me. I will survive in spite of crap. Crap!

Labor Day "Neighbor Day"

4:38 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
When I was a young girl we lived at 1569 S. Forest Street in Denver, Colorado. We moved in our brand new home in 1956. It was a cool ranch style home with 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom and an unfinished basement. At that time there were my Mom and Dad, and 3 sisters. Mom was very pregnant and my brother Bill was born shortly afterward. Eventually that house would hold 7 children and my folks and sometimes lots of cousins. It never seemed that crowded and it amazes me how big houses have become, and how it seems that every child has to have their own room ....but that's another story. It's always fun moving into a new housing tract because everyone is new and so the neighbors grow their lives together, and that's the way it was there in Denver. There were no privacy fences in Colorado, we had chain link between our houses, and that was even too confining, so stiles (stairsteps) were built over the fences to enable us to move between neighbors more easily. A tradition was started in that neighborhood that carries forth today, Neighbor Day. Everyone got their chores done quickly and then games were set up in each of the back yards....badmitton, ping pong, volleyball, croquet, swimming pools etc. We could move between the houses having fun with all the neighbors and the day would culminate with a pot luck dinner and one of the homes. What fun we had and what memories we built.
The memories were so strong and so fun that when we moved in our house on Larkspur Lane in 1977 I wanted to make sure to create the same feelings for my family. So on our first Labor Day there on Larkspur Lane we had our "Neighbor Day". We had it out under the street light in our cul de sac. The Pratt's didn't move in until the next month, and so the end of the street was a pile of dirt. There was no park where so many future celebrations would be held. It was a timid little start, but oh how it grew over the years. As each new neighbor moved in they were immediately apprised of the closeness of the neighborhoods and of the Larkspur Lane block parties. We had lots of people move in and out...the Castelaws, Romo's, Ron Smiths, Siaosi's, Fellbaums, Durham's, too many to mention them all....hopefully I will get reminders from my kids and other neighbors, but the core group that eventually moved in and stayed through the raising of our children became known as the "Larkspur Mafia". This group consisted of the Pratt's, Trosper's, Greg Smith's, Rouleau's, Pederson's, Hanson's, Torgerson's, Fellbaum's, and Durham's. As neighbors came and went, joining into and leaving the fun, this group would always be there. We would kind of trade turns being hosts which meant "who would make, print, and deliver" the flier to the entire block, then at around 2:00 in the afternoon we would start peeking out our windows to see if Betty and Marce had started heading down to the end of the cul de sac and that would be our cue to head out for "Neighbor Day".
Usually we would set the barbecues in the street, and the tables up on the grass for the rest of the food...and there was always tons of food. Everyone got creative at Labor Day picnics and brought out their best side dishes and desserts. There were always activities, sometimes a little baseball, croquet, horseshoes, swimming at the pool, balloon tosses, water fights. The best was the year that Marcel Hanson brought out a piece of plastic and we somehow hooked the water up to it and made this awesome "slip and slide" that we all took our turns on. Mostly though, I remember the women sitting in a circle just chatting with each other. It was a last hurrah before the kids were back in school. Sometimes it was burning hot, and sometimes it was cold. Remember the year we all had to put sweaters, blankets, little ski hats on to stay warm? I think that was when Emily Pratt was just a baby. It was freezing that year. So much nostalgia.
My kids did build those special memories with their neighborhood, the Larkspur kids, and all of the shared holidays. We also celebrated Memorial Day block parties, 4th of July shared fireworks, Christmas parties with caroling, summer plays, break dancing shows. It was a bunch of brothers and sisters living together on that block. Sometimes they fought, but they grew up together as one big family. The parents shared memories of raising our kids together. I remember the year and a half that we had 19 brand new drivers on the block......scary! We all watched out for each other and each others kids too. I have heard some great stories from my kids lately that some of the other parents were right there to protect and scold my kids when I wasn't around.
I will never forget the memories of my childhood and as a young parent when we drew together as a community and celebrated patriotism, family, and friends. Marque and Sarah have that kind of relationship with their neighbors in American Fork, Utah. They say their neighborhood parties are like the Larkspur Mafia get-togethers "on steroids". They have taken it to the next level with snow cone machines, bouncers, and elaborate water slides, but they are building memories with their neighbors. Because of that relationship they never want to leave. They want to raise Leah and future children within that safe cocoon. Jim and Sam have built a strong relationship with their neighbors as well. The whole neighborhood can be found quite frequently at Don and Candice's (across the street) swimming, barbecuing, dancing, and playing games together. Cynthia and Scott just bought a HUGE new house to start their life together. They plan to have and raise their family there. Scott said he loved the security of living in the same place for his whole life and wanted to give his children the same experience. I am sure the Larkspur Block parties added to the fun and the security. I hope they will take the time to get to know their neighbors and start the tradition in their new neighborhood. They have a park right across from their house that would be perfect for gathering people together.
Unfortunately things have changed. People have moved, divorced, and passed away. Only the Smiths and the Pratts are there now. Occasionally we will get together and remember the old days when we were young, and our kids were young. The talk between the women went from baby showers, to back to school breakfasts at Denny's, to weddings, grandchildren, body aches and pains, to mourning our loved ones...but who can understand better than those who have lived your life with you. Thanks for the memories Larkspur Mafia! I love you all!!!!!

Tagged by Marque!

11:16 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
Quilt being made for someone's wedding by Aunt Susan
Shhhh! Don't tell them.
Folder 7 Picture 7
Folder 6 Picture 6
Sea World

Barry, Becky & Braydon Hill after blessing
Folder 5 Picture 5
Leah visiting Gramma
Folder 4 Picture 4
Cynthia Allen (soon to be Trosper)
First time meeting (again) February 2009
Folder 3 Picture 3
Folder 2 Picture 2
Testing the camera--The grinch off TV
Folder 1 Picture 1
Scott Christmas 2008

Marque was tagged by my niece Anna, and then he tagged me along with 6 other people. The original challenge was to post the 7th picture in the 7th folder, but Marque did all the folders and matching picture up to the 7th folder, 7th picture. I did the same but backwards. My pictures aren't great, but it was fun to see what random photos were posted.
So I will tag Casey, Jennifer, Beth, Samantha, Sarah, Jason, and Jayne.
Strangely, there aren't many my age who blog, so I am choosing those in the younger crowd.

...more to say

10:33 AM Edit This 1 Comment »
My baby is getting married two weeks from tomorrow! What a handsome young man he is. An exemplary one too. He has found a bride to match. Cynthia is a bright penny. She is full of energy, has excellent goals, a high value system and she loves her family. I believe she already loves ours too. Besides all of that, she is absolutely darling.

I don't know that Scott has found one negative thing about his future wife. She has found one, the same and only thing that I ever found to nag my son about, procrastination. I'm looking, with anticipation, to see if she can help him overcome this small inconsistency in his otherwise shiny armor. It's a hard call, if I was a betting woman, I wouldn't know where to throw my money. After all I've tried a long time to help him overcome, but she is one strong cookie, and she has some loving techniques that just might do it................I'll keep you posted.

Good friends, Ken & Tina Pratt, have lovingly offered their home and backyard for the celebration. They are working like crazy to make a beautiful venue even more perfect. It is high on the hills over Temecula so it will be a lovely August evening wedding. The only negative is it won't hold all of the people we would all like to come. There are so many friends who, like me, were waiting for this day, and so after the honeymoon I am going to have a party to introduce the newlyweds to those who are unable to attend the actual wedding.

Scott proposed high above the ground in a hot air balloon. How romantic! See he did get all those sensitivity lessons I pounded in his brain. When they touched ground both families met them and we celebrated with fruit, crackers and cheese, lots of tears and hugs. Cynthia has a delightful family. It's so hard to believe we lived just a few blocks from them for both of their lives.

Scott had a crush on Cynthia in high school, and they worked together at PetSmart for quite awhile, so they had a good friendship. He didn't make any moves for two reasons; 1) he was a shy guy, and 2) she had a boyfriend. Apparently she had thought about him since then as well, but somehow thought he was married and living in Utah. Imagine her surprise when she learned he was a police officer in Chino. Imagine his surprise to learn that she was a teacher working for the Chino Unified School District.

Now, I always like to push "Mom-power" so I will tell you that frequently over the past 15 years since he graduated that I asked him if he had seen Cynthia, knew what she was doing or if she was married. As a matter of fact when I was trying to persuade him to get on Facebook I said something like "You never know you might find some long lost friend, like Cynthia Allen." Sure enough she contacted him over Facebook after she found out he was in Chino when he stopped a friend. He just gave a warning, not a ticket.....what a nice cop!

Well that was the start of the romance in February. There was no easing into it, they were just meant to be. They allowed for re-evaluation up until the 24th of February, but then it was full throttle into "head over heels". Some people are surprised to hear they are marrying after such a short courtship, but those of us in the family have been expecting, and even planning since that first month because it was that obvious.

In addition to this bit of happiness, they also signed papers on their new house yesterday. So they are beginning to move furniture from his Lake Elsinore home, and her Chino condo today. It is a house they plan on living in forever, and they plan on filling the rooms with lots of children, which makes this Gramma very happy. As you can tell I am already so happy about this new daughter-in-luv who is going fill Scott's life with boundless joy!

Today, I am also thinking about another daughter-in-luv, Sarah. Today is her birthday! Happy Birthday Sarah. When I called her today to sing "It's your birthday shout hooray, I want to sing to you today, One year older and wiser too, Happy Birthday to you!", she was just getting ready to take a trip to St. George. Marque is taking her for a special weekend. He has some great plans to help her celebrate her special day. No one knows how to celebrate like Sarah. She loves having fun, and planning to have fun. What a special lady she is. Words fail me when I try to describe how I giggle when I think of Sarah. She sings in the shower, she knows every word to every musical, every Disney movie and can join in that strange language that Marque, Jim, and Scott speak when they have conversations in movie quotes. She is quiet. and so her sense of humor is quiet, but unbelievable. She cracks me up with her one-liners, quietly said, but packed with so much wit. She is the best mom, and just relishes every moment with Leah. I hope she has more kids, because they will be lavished with love. She is perfect for Marque and balances him amazingly well. Together they are an awesome team. You can tell how much I love this daughter-in-luv. They only thing that keeps her from perfection is being so far away. Happy Birthday Sarah!

Since I'm singing the praises of my girls, I certainly can't leave out my first daughter, Samantha. I didn't blog on her birthday I guess, and that was a sad oversight because she was my first daughter-in-luv. She is the one who first fulfilled my desire for a shopping companion, a confidant, a buddy, an emotional, sensitive, FEMALE! I never have to worry about my boys knowing how loved they are....that's the point.....they probably get tired of all that mush and are glad they have all given me wonderful daughters to focus the gooey stuff on. Samantha said in one of the cards she gave me that I was her best friend. That touched my heart because we all hear the "mothers-in-law" stories....and there is nothing more awesome than to have your "daughter-in-law" find something to love. I'm so glad Samantha lives closeby because though we rarely have time to take them as often as we would like, we love our "girly" time. Samantha was the first to call and see if I was okay yesterday on our anniversary date. She knew it might be a tough time. Thanks Sam!

So first we had Samantha and her birthday is June 24th. Sarah was the 2nd and her birthday is July 24th. We told Scott he needed to find someone with an "S" name whose birthday was on the 24th as well. Believe it or not (S)ynthia's birthday is February 24th.......now that is fate!

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