Monday, September 5, 2011

Being A Friend!

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”

Today I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss what it takes to be a friend. I'm sure if each one of you can think of someone who has touched your life for the moment, day, or period of time you needed them, and perhaps someone who has become a lifelong friend.

When I was a young girl in Brownies we learned the little song that was short, but very profound. "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold." I knew then that this meant friends were important, and I understood that gold and silver were valuable, but as a youngster I don't know that I really understood the concept that friends were such a valuable commodity. I'm grateful I understand.

My Dad was the kind of person who was a friend to everyone. I have 3 sons who have the same kind of charisma he did. They can walk into a room of strangers and leave with a room of friends. Remarkable gift. People just wanted to be around Dad's pleasant smile and easy way. He made every person feel important. There was no measuring stick for him, there was a value in everyone. He was kind of like Will Rogers who of course "never met a man he didn't like". We can all do this by looking for the nugget inside each person that creates beauty. We've all met people who can always find fault in everyone, It's easy to just reverse it and look for the good. If you find it, then there is no doubt you will want them to be your friend.

My Mom was the one who carried details about people. This was a great assist to my dad....sometimes as they were walking up to someone my Mom would begin to feed my Dad the details "His wife is Faith, two children Grace and Jane, saw them at the company picnic." By this time Dad was shaking George's hand and patting him on the back asking how Grace and Jane were doing. Mom keeps friends forever and continuously adds to her friendship bouquet. A couple weeks ago we went to Denver for a wedding and stopped in to see her best friend who she met in the early 40's. They were "Rosie Riveters" together during the Second World War. To see them together was like they had never been apart, bosom buddies........they are among the first bff's.

I too am grateful for the relationships I made all through my life. They are golden to me.
? Have you ever had a friend that even if you haven't seen them in years - - you pick up right where you left off?

That's not ALWAYS how it is. It takes a lot of responsibility to be a friend, and stay a friend. Friendships need to be nurtured not taken for granted.
? What can you do to maintain that relationship?
Keep in touch. If you don't you might lose track of them.....
Know what their life events are?
Jan/Karen after she died.

? What can you do to have a golden relationship?
Give and Take
If you don't have a balanced relationship then it will lead eventually to regret or resentment.
My contract with my friends

Recognize the value in each person?
? Once you recognize it, what do you do with it?

If you keep these little hints you will have Friendships of Gold

NOW WHAT ABOUT THE SILVER--New Friendships?

How do you go about meeting new friends? I recently moved here from California. I was lucky enough to have an abundance of friends already here, as a matter of fact some of them threw a "Welcome to Utah" party for me. But I wanted to meet some new friends as well, so I could feel comfortable in my new home.

Karen Cook story--A long time ago I realized that you can make a new friend anywhere and in just a minute or two.....just look like you are open....don't close yourself off. I meet some of the neatest people in line at the grocery store. I know we are impatient people but it makes the time in line go much more quickly if you just look at the people around you who are impatient too and lift the time and their spirits a little too. I used to practice this on the busy freeways in California. You're stuck on the 60...going nowhere fast. Smile a little, wave a little, it will fill the time much more quickly. How about at McDonalds? I think people really think there is just an arm waiting on them. Have you ever recognized the arm is attached to someone? Someone who has a life, a smile, a heartbeat? Ask them how they are doing the next time you grab that McMeal! You might make a McFriend.

Scott's story---Police Dept Training Class.

? What? Where? and How? are some other ways we can meet new friends?
Going to places where you share commonalities. Toastmasters, church, Curves, School, Art classes.
? How do you nurture a new friendship?
Trust. "They don't know how much you know, until they know how much you care."

Build experiences and memories together.
Know what is important to them.
Be there when they need you--Lean on them when you are needing a hand.
Begin cementing the relationship by building traditions/memories.
Mark Twain said something once I wholeheartedly believe is true "I can live for two weeks on a single compliment." Share those little rays of sunshine, you will be the one who is blessed. YOU will find a new friend,

Thank you Miss Toastmaster.