I am Blessed and I am Grateful that I am Blessed!

The other day my friend, Shirley, told me that other people were concerned about me and asking how I was doing?

Shirley has been going through a rough patch herself because of her mother's recent passing. She was my focus when she "willy nilly" let me know that I was the focus of friends concern. My immediate response was "Me? Why would anyone be worried about me." She calmly said "Oh, maybe it could be that you are still going through the aftermath of a divorce. Maybe it's because you just got out of the hospital with heart issues, or maybe it's because your hours at work were almost cut in half." I was taken aback. Surprised really when it was put that way. My reply was "Well no wonder they are worried about me. I would be worried about that person too."

To be honest there are other things to throw in the mix too. Other adversities I am dealing with, but I guess I don't look at them all in a list like that. I just do the best I can to take a look at each issue individually. Then I make a decision about whether there is anything I can do about it, if there isn't then I try to move on. Not that it doesn't take time to move on, but if that's all I can do, that's all I can do. If there is something I can do then I try to make a plan on how to proceed to make a change. Then there are those things that I can't decide if I should just "Let go, and Let God" take care of, or if I should have a more active role in resolving.

I am not a person who is in the habit of saying "poor me" or "Why me God?" I know that I signed on for this earth life experience. I am aware that the purpose is to be faced with challenges, and the result of those challenges is growth. We each have a choice. Sometimes other people's choices affect us. Then we don't have a choice, except in how we choose to respond to where their choice leads or leaves us. That's probably been the toughest thing for me to grasp.

I will admit to being very hurt when my employers chose to cut my hours while leaving my fellow employees untouched. I know they can't say it is because of age, but I wondered if there was some "age discrimination" involved. Even then, was it because I am not functioning as well as I did when I was younger....probably. My little pity party was short lived because I got a very nice sense of 'well being'. The worry and concern over how I would survive just evaporated. Perhaps in part because I went to worse scenario and imagined myself thrust out of my home living on social security (which isn't much). I realized I have 3 sons and 3 beautiful daughters in law who each have an extra room and alot of love for their mom. None of them would let me be homeless. I am too young and too independent to want that, but it is so comforting to relax in the shelter of that love. But, I think mostly the Lord whispered in my ear that things would work out. I have recognized and been a recipient of his care so I knew that I could trust Him. I didn't know how, but it didn't matter.

Shortly after I came to peace about it my bank called saying they would modify my loan. I had been trying to work with them and there wasn't much relief promised. With the new information that my salary was cut they recalculated and offered a deal that I can't possibly refuse. It hasn't totally come through yet, but I trust that I will be able to live in my home for a long time. What a relief, what a blessing.

This morning I was able to cuddle back into my covers which is a nice side blessing of not working every day. But as I was laying there I was feeling at peace. At this moment I feel healthy, financially blessed, and loved by my family, friends, and the Lord. See how lucky I am! I am blessed and I am grateful that I am blessed.

Hopefully I can pass some of this good news on to those I care about so they will feel loved and blessed too.

Attitude--The value of a change in perspective!

Attitude is one of my favorite words. I love quotes about Attitude, my favorite being "Attitude is a little thing that can make a BIG difference." The one I have on my phone right now is "We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails." A couple more "Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but, rather, a manner of traveling." "The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."

I learned the art of changing my perspective, thus adjusting attitude, when I was in Jr. High. There was a new student who swooped into the school and in a short time became the most popular student. She was an "army brat" who was moved many times in her childhood. She had a choice: hate it, gripe about it, mope around or "go with the flow". She not only learned to make the best of it, she reveled in the challenge of moving into a new space and making new friends. I still remember that girls name even though I was only 11 or 12 years old, Diane Cook. She taught me a valuable lesson. I didn't become the most popular girl in the school, but I did learn how taking a different perspective could change the view.

As a newlywed I remember Bud and I being in a church group of other young marrieds. It was like being back in High School with the popular group at the center in their own little "click". All of the rest of us seemed to be in the outer circle jealous of that group. Me included. All of the sudden I did a perspective click.....when I did I had quite a different view. #1 That little group had no intention of excluding anyone. They were unaware that the rest of us were standing around them panting to be a part of their party. They were just having fun, innocent of any malice. #2 I looked to the right of me and to the left of me and found a large group of people who were visualizing being part of a group, failing to notice all the others in the same situation. So I turned to greet those people and gradually found some great friends, and eventually we became a very cohesive group.

Another story I remember about attitudes was one that Corrie ten Boom told in her book THE HIDING PLACE. Corrie and her sister were Christians who were put into a concentration camp by the Germans after it was discovered they hid many of their Jewish brothers and sisters. While imprisoned they had the opportunity to share the love of God with many inmates. Corrie was surprised when her sister Betsy thanked the Lord for the lice infestation. Betsy's view was that the lice kept the guards from coming into their room, thereby giving them freedom they wouldn't otherwise have. Now that takes a real attitude change to be grateful for lice!

I have worked for 25 years in the insurance industry. Steve Bjelland was Marque"s and Jim's scoutmaster and he called me after his wife suggested me as a possible employee. Scotty had just started first grade so he wondered if I was interested in doing a little part time work. I had always done childcare in my home so I could be a "stay at home" mom. It wasn't that I didn't work because at times I cared for as many as 14 children at a time, with 8 in diapers. I was worried about working taking away from my devotion to my first career as a wife and mother. After some bartering and negotiating....mostly Steve just gave me my way, I started work. I could get away for any "room mother" duties, field trips, or any other needs for my kids, and work was a side light. This is the way in continued for many years. I just worked enough to provide the "extras" for my kids like soccer, the nicer shoes, name brand jeans, McDonalds once in awhile.....you know the "extras". Bud and I had an agreement that I was a "wifey". We kind of both deceived ourselves into thinking that "my" money didn't count. When we moved to Virginia I worked full-time for the first time. I was Relief Society President so I really worked TWO full-time jobs. I didn't have to though, it was a choice.

When Bud was laid off and we moved back to California he got a job that would require a lot of travel, so when I got my job with a District Manager in Temecula my main concern was freedom to take alot of time off rather than the money it paid. Later as our financial needs became greater it became terribly obvious that the money I earned was no longer expendable, but necessary. Then Bud had to have surgery and was off work for about six months, and I was pretty much the "breadwinner". Now, I didn't lay blame at anyone's feet, and I recognized we had a partnership and it was "my turn", but I didn't have to like it, and I didn't!

Anyone who knows me knows me to be an optimistic person. I usually wake up ready to face the world with a song and a smile, but I was finding my first thoughts waking up were "I hate my job. I hate the stupid drive to work (55 miles one way). I hate my life." Not much had really changed. I had the same job, the same drive, and the same life I had been living for several years...the only difference is that now it wasn't a choice.....I HAD to work. It was bad. I grumbled all the way to work. When I got to work automatic gear kicked in, and I doubt that anyone noticed the problem. As a matter of fact it would get better, but on my way home I grumbled again. The next morning I repeated the same meloncholy mantra. It was really getting bad. I was aware nothing was going to change. The only way to make a change in the situation was to change myself....time for a major attitude adjustment!

My boss was reading A PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE and the title made me contemplate my purpose. He gave me a copy for Christmas that year. I have to admit that sometimes I don't read a whole book....sometimes I just carry it around and gain insight through close connection to it. Silly huh? Sometimes it works. I did read the beginning chapters just not the whole book. But I pondered my purpose. I decided that I was given a gift of empathy. It doesn't take much for me to understand the trials people go through. People want to be understood and cared about. Sometimes we don't feel like we are much more than numbers--social security numbers, credit card numbers, account numbers, loan numbers, policy numbers---we don't have identity. I decided my purpose was to give my clients (all those I come in contact with) an identity. The person handing me a salad from the McDonalds window is something more than "an arm attached to my food". They are a real live person with a story to tell. Each person who comes into my office has blessings and trials they have a need to share. Sometimes they don't need anything more than a business person to smile at them, or remember their name.

So my attitude adjustment came as my realization that I too have A PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE. My purpose was not to go to my job every day to bring home money. (That is a very good side purpose but not one that set well with me) I want each person who walks in the office door, or who is on the other end of the phone to feel better when they leave, or hang up. That is my focus.

What a change it made to my life to look at my job experience with this new perspective. Truly I wake up each morning anxious to get to work. I even enjoy the drive because I love to see the shocked looks on people's faces when I grin at them, leave space for them to change lanes, or give them a big wave when they give me space. (Have you noticed people don't do that anymore?)

No, I'm not a Pollyanna I still get down on occasion, but all it takes is a little tweak in my attitude, or a little change in my perspective to get back in the happy zone!